My Life as a Stay-at-home Mom?!?

I received a chain email of sorts today discussing the merit and/or mystery of the "Stay-at-home Mom" phenomenon. The basic gist was "what does a SAHM actually do ALL day long?

Well-- I'll leave the possible debate that could develop as a result of that question to the rest of you out there, but, it did make me think about my life as a SAHM. I actually feel extremely blessed to be able to be home each day with Luke and Caroline. I know it's hard for Scott to leave for work some mornings because he knows his time with them is basically limited to dinnertime, bedtime, and the weekends.

As far as the work load of a SAHM... I can't complain. Sure it's a job as much as anyone else on a payroll-- that can't be disputed. We've all seen the "what it would cost" list that circulates about what a SAHM "salary" would be if she were to be paid for her efforts. Below is what my salary would supposedly be as quoted by salary.com-- for all my fellow SAHMs, you can create your own check there, too.



So, I will grant that the figure appears to be a tad exaggerated! Regardless, to me, it is the most important job on earth. I'd do it for free... wait-- I already do! :)

When I first left the world of teaching to pursue motherhood, it was a hard adjustment-- especially when August rolled around and everyone was heading back to school except me! I was used to having my identity as "Mrs. Westerman- English and Bible teacher" and of being needed and loved by so many students whom I cared about so deeply. I definitely had a few weeks where I struggled to rediscover myself apart from my 8-year teaching career.

Then came motherhood-- another totally life-altering identity adjustment! This time your identity isn't lost as much as it is forever replaced. It hits you that for the rest of your life you will now answer to "Mom." It's a real shift in perspective on many, many levels.

I still struggle with identity issues, and I now accept the realization that I always will-- and always have. As the kids grow and mature, I must continue to re-evaluate who I have become at each new stage. I must consider the new, unfamiliar point on the parent path where I find myself. I am just now realizing that this is life itself: constantly adjusting, adapting, changing, and learning from the immediate present you find yourself in at any given moment.

My own mom stayed at home with us... I know I benefited from that, and I'm sure my desire to become a SAHM grew out of my personal experience with her. Most of the girls I know (and have known since high school and college) are SAHMs now. I have a few friends who work and raise children-- they are busy! I honestly can't imagine trying to do both.... I know they must have moments when they wish they were at home, too.

I have moments, too, sometimes-- not so much dreaming of being back in the working world, but of remembering my "pre-kids" life and the luxury of TIME that I enjoyed-- the days when I alone dictated my schedule, my actions, and my "to do" list! I also miss the days when Scott and I only had each other to focus all our attention, love, energy and emotion upon-- although we did have 12 glorious years of that before Luke arrived....

Of course, I'd NEVER trade our present life to return to the pre-kid past. Luke and Caroline are absolute miracles. I am still amazed when I gaze into their eyes and glimpse their unique minds at work. I cherish conversations with Luke about what a particular street sign says and why. I love listening to Caroline babble and formulate her first words-- ma ma, bubble, yummy, no, bye. I am blessed to be there for all those day-to-day, trivial and monumental moments that they will look back upon one day and call their childhood. I hope I contribute to making it a special, sacred, happy time for them.

She (Eve) taught me to fear the serpent
I’m learning to fear myself
And all of the things I am capable of
In my search for wisdom, acceptance and wealth

Remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I will never know

-- lyrics from Generations by Sara Groves