Chapter 13-- My Two Prince Charmings

Scott flew out to Denver Monday morning, so Luke and I have had some serious bonding time the past two days-- even more than usual! Thankfully, Scott doesn't have to travel very much anymore-- just a few days a month, which is nothing compared to how it used to be during the early years of our marriage. Scott's first job after college was as a business consultant for Arthur Andersen. He would be assigned to jobs that would necessitate him being gone for weeks and even months at a time. It was never so bad though, because I always had my summers off, so if he were out of town then I would just go with him. One summer (our third anniversary) he was working on a big project in Atlanta. He had an apartment there, so we spent the entire summer in Norcross. It was fun going to the Braves games! I also was a young, hard-working, idealistic English teacher who had TONS of papers to grade each night, so him being on the road was sometimes a blessing-- I could get work done! I also loved spending time planning fun activities for the girl students in my Bible classes so that I could get to know them better. They were often fun company when he was away.

He moved on to better things in his career, and he is no longer farmed out to projects here, there, and yon. But, when he is away now, it reminds me of how far we have come. Now when he is gone I don't have anyone to hand Luke off to at night so that I can have a break! Also, I remember how excited I used to get when he was coming home back in the early days-- the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder bit.... Now it is so much more business-like-- "How long will you be gone? When will you be back? " It makes me sad that some of that "newlywed-ness" has faded a bit. I used to swear that would never happen to us, but having a baby really changes things!

Please don't get me wrong-- I love Scott now more than I ever have. It is so neat after 12 years together to see him through new eyes as a father to Luke. I guess it has just been a harder transition than I thought it would be going from two to three-- and I really don't know how to describe it except that things are obviously different....

Pre-Luke, Scott and I had the luxury of being selfish about each other. We could spend all the time in the world we wanted to together-- and never got tired of each other! We could stay up late and watch TV and sleep in late on Saturdays. We could go to Kroger at 2:00 a.m. if we wanted! We could travel anywhere anytime and never think twice about it-- and we did! We could talk and talk and talk and just enjoy each other's company.

Things are starting to return back to normal now that Luke has grown. We get plenty of sleep and can still watch the late show together. But, in many ways, life for the two of us will never be the same because life is no longer just about the two of us. It is figuring out how to balance the wonderful world of Luke, while still maintaining a great relationship with my best friend that I find challenging. Now we end up talking about Luke all the time-- he sat on his own without tipping over; he can pick up the smallest things with his fingers; he laughed and laughed when I made the "buzz" sound for him; he nodded his head back and forth, etc.-- Luke is just so miraculous and fun that we can't help but make him the center of our attention right now-- and we should-- but that also means our main priority and focus has shifted off of us and our relationship.

We are aware of this. We realize that as important as Luke is, our relationship is more important. The best thing we can ever give to him is a secure, loving home. I want him to grow up knowing without a doubt that we love each other and that we are always going to be there for him together, as a team.

One day, Luke (and any future brothers or sisters?!) will walk out our door into the world to begin his own life. And even after he is gone, we will still have each other. I don't want to look over at Scott when that door closes and realize then that I no longer know him because we have focused so much on the kids that we lost sight of each other. I am sure that is hard to do. Life and all its busy-ness has a way of sucking us in without us ever realizing that we are living in a blur on fast forward.

I am also learning for the first time that marriage is work-- I always used to laugh at that before because being married to Scott never seemed like "work" to me. I loved every minute of it-- he was my best friend! How could that be work? But now I am realizing that you can't always assume that the tide will never change and that it is always smooth sailing. Now I am starting to see that if we want to keep our marriage wonderful, we are going to have to work to insure that all those things we used to take for granted still get done. I will now have to put "hugging and kissing my husband when he walks in the door from work" on my to do list instead of handing Luke over with a "He's all yours-- and his diaper needs to be changed." I will now have to add to my agenda "Tell Scott you are proud of him and thank him for being such a wonderful husband and dad" rather than remind him that the grass needs to be cut and the recycle bin moved out to the curb. We will have to make the time to share our dreams and thoughts and visions with each other instead of deciding that there will be time later to catch up. We will have to work to have a "date" night each week, realizing that although we love taking Luke with us everywhere that there is great benefit in spending some quality time alone without him-- not to mention a line of family and friends a mile long who want to babysit!

So, marriage is a continually unfolding novel with plotlines that are constantly changing and surprises awaiting us around every bend. It was indeed the fairytale for the first twelve chapters-- and I loved each second. But, chapter 13 has had its moments, too, and seems to be turning into more of an action-adventure than Cinderella story! But, now instead of one Prince Charming, I have two! Even Cinderella wasn't that lucky!

Bush-Cheney 2004 

Bumblings, Bumperstickers, and Bush

Well, the Olympics are coming to a close... It has been nice watching them at night. There is some kind of weird satisfaction in the consistency of it all. Whether it was something good like gymnastics or something completely random-- like trampoline?!-- it was fun to veg out and enjoy the spirit of it all. One thing that I do think is a little stange is all the controversy/appeals/ scandals that occur now on a regular basis. I just don't remember any of that growing up-- apart from the occasional Ben Johnson stuff. Is it our new "blame-anybody-else-but-take-responsibility-myself" culture that is the cause?

I am looking forward to the start of the Republican Convention, even though it will be an overly- produced production like the Democrats had, I'm sure. A few weeks back I ordered some Bush/Cheney 2004 car magnets. I got them this week and was so pumped about putting one on my car-- I even put one on our mailbox. Somewhere in the back of my mind though, I felt the tiniest bit worried that I shouldn't become so "political"-- maybe I will offend someone or send out the wrong message. Maybe another way to put it is-- How involved should a Christian really be in the political realm? My complete allegiance should be to Christ not to a particular party or even to my country... so, then I start to think-- maybe I should just vote, but not go overboard for one candidate or another. Then I think-- No, I want to vote for Bush because he is a Christian, too, and openly professes his belief that God is guiding him. He is always saying that he prays and I believe that he is sincere in his faith. Kerry claims to be a Christian, too-- but, I just can't get past the whole platform that the Democrats have stood on for so long when it includes abortion and gay rights, etc.

Some of our friends actually met President Bush here in Nashville several weeks back at a fundraising dinner. He and his wife are huge supporters and so thrilled to be at the event with him. They were able to speak to him for a few minutes. He told Mr. Bush that he was praying for him and his family was praying for him each day and remarked that it must be such a hard job being the President, under such scrutiny and attack. Mr. Bush just smiled, thanked them for their prayers, and said it isn't hard at all because of his faith and that he was hanging in there just fine. They left the event even more excited and convicted about George Bush remaining in the White House. (They actually have several Bush signs and stickers on their house/cars!!!)

I know that Republicans always take the "only-concerned-about-the-wealthy" hit... To me that is unfair--- I can relate more to the Republican mindset because they are for less government more individual responsibility. I hate the concept of "let the government take care of you" or "let the government fix it" mentality! I admit that there are probably some deserving people out there who simply cannot take care of themselves-- especially children-- but, I still believe this should be a job for churches and for us as individuals. It's just way too easy to create a ton of government bureaucracies that bog everything down in the name of trying to help the unfortunate.

Most of our close friends and family are Pro-Bush. So many times lately I have thought about how odd that is... Is that because we are drawn to establish close relationships with those who are most like us, or is it just a coincidence? Yes, I do know a few "liberals" and consider them friends. I have to admit though that it absolutely baffles me how differently we see the world. I simply can't imagine things from their perspective! It just doesn't make sense in any possible way-- which I am sure is exactly what they would say about the way I view things! How interesting that our country is pretty much split right down the middle, too. One side sees America in one light-- and one side sees a completely different image of our country. And-- like I said earlier-- does it really matter in the scheme of Christianity? No. Christ should be where we find our unity-- not in any political/social ideas or platforms.

Both parties have major flaws and imperfections-- If someone were to ask me why I am voting for Bush, I could intelligently discuss the war, the economy, jobs, environment, terrorism, etc. I have more time on my hands than most to do that kind of research and pondering, and I still side with Bush.... But, the bottom line for me is that he seems honest-- even in his bumblings-- and I firmly believe he is trying to let God lead him. I want to know that my President is on his knees each night asking for grace, mercy, wisdom, and strength. I don't think that makes me a right-wing nut job or some un-cool, out-of-touch intolerant fanatic.

Luke's nine month doctor's appointment is scheduled for November 4th-- two days post election. It is crazy to think that whoever is elected will help shape his future in some ways. When I think back to my childhood, it is Reagan who stands out so vividly. I will never forget being in the 4th grade the day he was shot. Mrs. Jones cried out in the hallway, and I knew something big had happened. I remember going home and seeing replay after replay of him going down on the street. For my parents it was Kennedy-- Who will it be for Luke?

So, I will leave my bumper sticker. Hopefully if someone takes the time to ask me why in the world I would vote for such an ignorant, redneck, cowboy I will have the opportunity to tell them about prayer and God-- regardless of whether W gets mentioned or not!

The ZOE Group 2004 

Spiritual and Sentimental Ramblings

Had a great time with my ZOE family yesterday! We all got together at Brandon's to discuss our latest CD project for this year's conference in October-- Desperate. I have been blessed for the past nine years to sing with this group of people, The ZOE Group. We go around the country leading worship and introducing new music to churches for them to incorporate into their services. We make a CD each year of new songs which we debut at our Nashville conference in the fall.

I haven't really addressed the role ZOE plays in my life on my blog yet, apart from detailing our many travels! My blog is now linked off the ZOE site, so maybe I should give a little insight into what ZOE means to me. By the way... ZOE is the Greek word for "life" in the New Testament. I think a lot of people wonder why we are even called "ZOE"....

First, some history:

ZOE existed long before most of us were ever involved. Almost 10 years ago now, a small group of folks began meeting on Saturdays with one purpose in mind: what the Bible says from cover to cover about worship. After a year of study, they felt like they had a renewed passion to pursue worship in their personal lives and in their churches. They wanted to share this in some way, but had no idea where to start. The short version of this story is that ZOE. Getting people together who shared the same passion and sharing our ideas of what worship could look like from a new perspective.

Our mission statement:

The ZOE Group, Inc. is a not-for-profit Christian ministry dedicated to worship renewal in the lives of individuals and the churches to which they belong. The group consists of men and women who have encountered the living God in worship and have been changed by the encounter. They believe that the core of Christian existence derives its strength and focus from a life disciplined to worship God moment by moment in setting of solitude and in gatherings of believers. Worship is multi-dimensional, not limited to a weekly time and place. Instead, the encounters of God with His people throughout history have been in times of loss as well as celebration, in settings of splendor and squalor, in moments of introspection or even anger. To worship well we must become a people consumed by a desire to worship more.

The ZOE Group provides resources to help God's people improve in the discipline of worship. Through the prophetic word, music, arts, drama and the gifts God has given to His people in every age it is our prayer that excellence in the worship experience can be enhanced and improved, practiced and taught. Seminars, recordings, publications and internet communications are all means by which The ZOE Group expects to share a maturing vision of Christian Worship.

"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power for ever and ever! Amen."

Introducing new music to churches was one of the early goals of ZOE. So, by the grace of God, when auditions were held, one of my dear elders passed my name along to Brandon, and I was selected to join! This group is now one small, but important part of the ZOE mission.

It is so funny to look back now at those first months and years we spent together! We had no idea what God was using us for in some ways, but we were all just happy to be along for the ride together. I really had known NONE of them before being asked to join the group. I remember feeling awkward at first, but as time rolled on, we all became family.

Nine CDs later, innumerable trips, and hundreds of special moments shared; it is still hard for me to put into words how much ZOE means to me or how it has impacted my life. We have shared some of our best and worst times together-- engagements, marriage celebrations, the births of our first children, homes destroyed by fire, family illnesses, job changes-- and many other things too personal to share online! I think this is what makes us so special as a praise team.... When we worship together, we bring all of this past shared history to the table-- we can be honest-- we can feel freedom in the bond we have together as family. This is such a true blessing.

I wish you all could experience those times we have when we are leading worship-- not because we have some magical experience or gift that no one else can possess... everyone of us is able to enjoy in the passion of worship, whether we are on stage, in a pew, or by ourselves--- but, rather, I wish everyone could know the feeling of gazing out into hundreds of eyes and seeing God-- the incredible gift of observing people, hands raised, singing loudly-- many of whom are experiencing the freedom and exhilaration of worship for the very first time-- or those who are being renewed by His Spirit.

After nine years of asking "what is worship", "how should we worship", "what is meaningful worship"--- I have to say, I'm still no expert, but.... those times are the ultimate definition of worship to me. Being in a room of people declaring unashamedly that we believe in the one true God of heaven and earth and the saving power of the death of His Son, Jesus-- and responding to Him in whatever ways His Spirit moves us. Yes, worship is both corporate as well as individual... but in those times, I think that those two processes occur simultaneously-- everything simply melds together and rises towards the heavens without a second thought about theology, doctrine, or appearance.

These times become very real to me each year at our conference here in Nashville. What an amazing event! A thousand people gathered for the sole purpose and desire of worshipping God! An extra bonus is that each one of them have amazing singing voices and musical talent. What a beautiful noise we make to the Lord during those times of praise and worship together.

So-- yesterday, as I looked around the room at my precious ZOE family-- fully aware of so many of their strengths, weaknesses, talents, and flaws... I thanked God again for allowing me to be a part of such an amazing family. I am humbled, undeserving, and extremely thankful...

Enough spiritual and sentimental rambling for one day! To all of you who are aware of ZOE, have attended a conference, listened to one of our CDs, and/or have encouraged us in this ministry-- thank you!

The ZOE Group 2004 

Luke enjoys bath time in his rubber duck tub! 

Stepford or Step Forward?

Luke finally contracted his first cold this week. I guess I should feel blessed that he was 6 1/2 months old before his first illness! I remember when he was one month old praying that he wouldn't get sick because I wouldn't have a clue what to do! I still don't, but at least I am not such a panicked new mom at this point.

It actually hasn't been that bad-- He has a runny, sniffley, nose and a cough... He has still been happy overall. His appetite hasn't decreased, and he is still sleeping through the night, thankfully!

I didn't go to the Y Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday though-- which was a bummer for me... but, I didn't think it was wise to put him in the nursery with his symptoms. I think he is on the upswing of it all, so maybe we can get back into our routine Monday.

I happened to catch a rerun of "The View"-- a TV talk show that comes on when I am at the Y, so I don't ever see it normally... But, the cast of the Stepford Wives was on. The "new" Stepford Wives 2004 is a remake of the 1975 original. Basically, the plot line is that women are being brain-washed into becoming these "perfect" wives-- who live to serve their husbands in every way and no longer have a mind or life of their own. In the '75 version, it is presented as a horror film of sorts-- in the ERA era it was the worst thing that could happen to a woman-- to be forced to be subservient to a man! In the 2004 update, it is passed off as more of a joke-- How funny that any woman would want to be a perfect wife to some man. It is funny how 30 years changes our perspectives on cultural issues....

As I listened to these Hollywood types try to define what a Stepford wife was, I began to ponder how similar or dissimilar my life was to their definitions.... A woman who cooks and cleans and emotionally supports her husband-- Yes, on my good days! A woman who likes to paint, sew, decorate-- yep, that's me! So-- I begin to wonder if I was the brunt of the joke?! Is it laughable in our society for a woman to devote her life to family and home?

Faith Hill, who plays Sarah Sunderson in the film-- one of the brain-washed robot wives-- is given an interesting line regarding her husband: "Herb is my religion, because I worship him." Wow! Have I let being a stay-at-home mom/wife become the sole focus of my life-- my "religion"?

Many deep thoughts were swirling in my head about the role of a woman, wifely responsibilities, motherhood, career----- Have I lost myself in order to stay home, raise Luke, and keep Scott happy with a clean living room carpet that he can walk barefoot on when he gets home from work?!?!

No-- I'm not lost. In fact, I am in an amazing process of finding myself... I am no longer "teacher" to 100 kids a day-- I am teacher to Luke each time I pick up "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?" I am no longer just "daughter" but now a mother, looking into Luke's eyes and learning for the first time how much my parents must care for me. I am no longer living life just for myself, but I now have a much higher calling.

No-- I am not a perfect wife. I have MUCH room for improvement. It has been hard for me to still give Scott as much love and attention as he deserves now that Luke has arrived on the scene. But, I do enjoy being the C.H.O. (chief housing officer) of our home. I am learning that even washing and folding clothes can be a ministry. Having a hot meal on the table at night is another way of saying "I love you." Fresh sheets on the bed and clean baseboards are blessings which remind me that I have a lovely home that God has entrusted me to maintain.

I still think. I still enjoy debating theology-- and sometimes politics. I still enjoy traveling and skiing and shopping and singing and many other things that were a part of my life before Luke. I guess I see my life with him as a new chapter being written instead of the end of some fairy tale that I lived before.

I am blessed to be a wife to Scott and a mother to Luke. I am learning to be thankful for each moment that God gives to me each day to analyze "deep thoughts" like this! I am sure He gets a kick out of it!

Scott and I on our Ocoee Adventure! 

Life is like a Raft...

I am so happy to report that Luke has settled back into a normal routine! He just had a few bad days there at the beginning of last week... I really believe it was just the shots that threw him into a tizzy combined with the fact that he is not napping as long as he used to... He still goes down about the same time each day but his first nap is now about half as long as it was.

Scott and I went down the Ocoee on Sunday! It was so fun to get away with good couple friends and have fun like we used to "Pre-Luke." Several of our friends had wanted to put this trip together for a long time, so we finally got it organized. I love going rafting and have gone pretty much every year for the past 5 years or so.... but none of us had ever done the Upper Ocoee-- the Olympic course. This is an all day thing as opposed to the middle Ocoee which just takes two hours or so.

Although I rarely pass up the chance to hang with friends and have an adventure, I was a tad concerned about leaving Luke. Scott and I had done an "experiment" with him several weeks back when I went to Birmingham with ZOE, and he had done great-- but that was when he was with Scott. My parents had volunteered to keep him for us for this trip. I was a little nervous about how he would fair with them for such a long time. My other big concern was the whole nursing thing-- which was more of a concern for me, not for him. He will easily take formula now from a bottle if I need to be gone. He also eats 2-3 big jars of baby food and loves cereal and fruit... So, I knew he wouldn't starve... I was just worried at how I would do comfort-wise missing so many feedings. I almost decided to back out, but then decided to take the pump and car-adapter and make a go of it.

I am happy to say that I was completely fine and Luke didn't shed one tear all day! Things just couldn't have gone any better! He still continues to amaze us with his flexibility and happy demeanor in every situation! We were so proud and very thankful that he didn't make my parents crazy!

We did have several obstacles with the rafting itself-- First, we arrived early-- we thought-- only to realize that we had not taken into account the time zone change! So, we missed the Upper trip! Thankfully, they did squeeze us into the next lower Ocoee trip, so all was not lost, and we had a great time anyway! Plus, we were all kinda glad because now we were going to be getting home earlier. All of us had left kids behind, so getting back to them sooner was a nice prospect.

We stopped at Cracker Barrell and ate, gassed up the cars, and thought we would cruise on into Nashville at least a couple of hours early--- WELL-- that was before we got trapped in the longest line of interstate traffic ever! It took us an hour and a half to wind our way through the back roads of Monteagle Mountain before getting back onto I-24 at the Jasper exit. The wreck was right before the exit, so we had successfully jumped around it and none too soon-- They had closed the interstate in both directions by this point. We drove past a 10 mile parking lot of cars as we headed down the mountain! It was amazing how many cars were brought to a halt. There is no telling how long it took those people to get home last night!

So-- It was a great weekend. Scott and I got to enjoy a day together with good friends and to remember how much fun we have together. Luke did exceptionally well with my parents... I was SO excited to pull up to the house and to see my Dad sitting on our doorstep holding a smiling Luke! He was in such a sweet, happy mood, too.



Life is quite a bit like rafting. You sometimes are a little afraid and anxious about what lies around the bend... Sometimes things splash you in the face and take your breath away... Life is constantly an up and down ride of both the good and the bad, as well as a constant struggle to avoid hitting the rocks! It is scary but also a thrill-- and you wouldn't want to miss a second of it!

Don't cry, Mommy's coming

Rough day/night with Luke--- he is still having a hard time going down for his naps. Very frustrating since as of last week all I would have to do is lay him in his crib, he would roll over, stick his thumb in his mouth, and be asleep in minutes.... I sure hope this is just a short-lived phase he is entering. He also used to take a long morning nap and another long late afternoon nap, then he'd be awake when Scott would get home-- they would play, I would feed him and he would go down for the night.

Now he is only sleeping for an hour to an hour and a half when he goes down during the day and he completely fights going down-- he is just so tired around 4 or 5 because he hasn't had the sleep he is normally used to, but when I put him in the crib he just screams--- who knows why?!

That is what he is doing right now, and I am trying not to listen! It is so hard to let him cry, but I know it is for the best-- he HAS to be tired... he hasn't slept since he woke up at 2:30. He typically only stays awake two hours or so between naps... All that seems to have changed now.

I expected him to sleep less as he got older, but I didn't anticipate the crying fits. I am so out of practice at this "tough love" let them cry thing, since we haven't had to do it since he was three months old. Oh, well--- like I have constantly said over and over... any phase they enter is so short, that even if it is bad, it won't last too long. Plus, they are only babies for such a short time-- even the rough parts are worth it.

One day I will think back to this day and his cries and wish that he was still small enough to go grab out of the crib and cuddle and hold.....

In fact, I think that's just what I'll do....

Don't cry sweet Luke, Mommy's coming....

Who could ask for anything more

Another whirlwind weekend!! Scott was gone Friday night on a camp out with the guys, so it was just Luke and me. He wasn't in the best of moods--- It seems like it always takes him a few days to get back on track after his shots. I just couldn't get him to take a nap-- which is really unusual for him.

Saturday we went furniture shopping. We are trying to tackle the bonus room which is the last room in the house that hasn't been addressed in some way. I always told Scott that he could do what he wanted with that room since I did what I wanted in every other room in the house. He desperately wants a recliner! We never even go into the room as it is-- it is completely unused space as of now. So, maybe if we get it fixed up nicely we will use it. It will be nice to have some kind of area for Luke's things to go, but I think Scott also wants to make it some type of media room... We'll see... We also would like to redo the kitchen-- the countertops, tiling the backsplash, painting the cabinets... We're not sure which project is most important on the list.

Sunday was also busy! We had our class party that afternoon. It was a ton of fun and so nice to be able to reconnect with some couples that we haven't seen very much of besides the time we see them in class on Sunday mornings. There really are some great people in our class.

Monday, Luke still was a little grumpy when it came to taking naps-- he just wouldn't go down easily. I began to think "What if this is the beginning of some horrible stage?! What will I do?" Luke has always been such a dream it is hard for me to imagine him suddenly getting a stubborn streak in him-- or thinking about how I would deal with it!! It stirred a little sympathy in me for those whose children have always been somewhat of a handful! So, we prayed that he was still trying to get back on track from the shots and a crazy weekend!

Today he was much better and went down for his naps-- he actually fell asleep in the car on the way home from the Y like he usually does and then went right back to sleep when I put him in his bed. Now the only issue is that he is no longer taking his typical 2-3 hour late morning nap like he used to. He is only sleeping a little over an hour each nap. I don't guess this is so bad, it will just take some getting used to. Maybe this comes with the territory, as he gets older he will sleep less maybe?! At least he still sleeps soundly through the night, and that is all that really matters!

We had so much fun this afternoon playing! It is amazing how smart he is getting-- you can just see his mind in motion as he analyzes things. He has learned to shake his head back and forth and will imitate me when I do it sometimes. I had him in the bouncy seat hanging in the doorway of our office-- a favorite pastime for him-- he loves to bounce up and down! I cranked up Toto's "Rosanna"-- yes, an oldie but goodie-- and we were both dancing and laughing! I think he likes music so far, and I am almost certain that he bounces up and down to the beat of any song I play! He's got rhythm! Who could ask for anything more! :)

I am so blessed to be able to spend such seemingly silly moments with him each day. Whether it's watching him open his little mouth like a bird to beg for more organic banana-oatmeal-peach baby food, or staring at him for 30 minutes while he entertains himself in the exersaucer, moving meticulously around the circle from one activity to another and ending up slobbering and chewing on all them... or listening to his precious laugh when he can't stop because I have faked yet another sneeze for him-- "A-choo!"-- for some reason this always makes him roar... or eagerly pushing open his nursery door when I hear him rustling around so that I can see his sweet face that I have missed while he was napping-- and seeing him roll his head around to see me standing over his crib-- and that smile-- there's nothing better. No one can prepare you for the day-to-day amazing moments that to anyone else would seem so trivial, but to a mom, are priceless and all too rushed-- a blur of memories that I desperately want to capture in my head forever.... Especially when he is a teenager and driving me crazy, I'm sure.

Such is the stuff life is made of... how wonderful!

Parenting Parallels

Today we went to the Doctor for Luke's six month check up. He weighed 18 lbs., 15 1/2 ounces-- so close to 19 pounds! He measured 28 1/2 inches long. So, he has consistently remained in the 75% percentile for weight and 95% for height since he was born. He is healthy and happy on all accounts-- praise the Lord!

He also had to have 4 more shots. It is so heart-breaking to willingly inflict pain upon your child, even though you know it's for his own good. His little eyes, full of tears,look into yours and seem to be asking "Why?" Luke is such a happy baby anyway; that makes it especially hard to watch him when he tenses up and lets out a cry-- he rarely cries, so it is not something I am used to hearing from him. I know he won't remember the shots, and the tears didn't last that long!

I'm sure that God feels the same way about us.... He doesn't like to see the pain we have to endure sometimes, but He knows that in the long run it is good for us and makes us stronger and more spiritually healthy. How many times have I asked Him, "Why?!" Yet, all the while, He has a plan for me.

Being a parent is such an incredible glimpse of what God must feel for us. I feel like I am just beginning to see the many parallels in big and small ways each day.

What a true blessing Luke is to Scott and me and to our entire families! Thank you, Father!

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails--
That's what little boys are made of!
Luke at six months old-- August 3rd, 2004

The Best of Times....

I haven't blogged in several days! I feel no guilt, though! I would rather write out of inspiration rather than obligation!

ZOE took a road trip to Birmingham on Saturday. Scott had originally planned to go with us to watch Luke while we sang, but at the last minute we decided to do an experiment-- leaving Luke at home with Scott all day. Luke did great-- I shouldn't be surprised... Scott fed him cereal, baby food, and white grape juice mixed with water in a bottle. I'm not even sure he noticed I was gone! I was gone for close to 12 hours though-- that is the longest I have been away from him since he was born! Yet another sign of what a big boy he is becoming!

Yesterday, Tuesday, August 3rd, was Luke's six month birthday! It is amazing to think back to that February morning when Scott and I first started getting ready to go to the hospital. We were calm and collected. I still have friends who joke with me about how I am the only person they know who would take the time to sit down and email everyone that my water broke and I was on the way to the hospital!

As calm as we were, we simply had no idea what was in store for us--- that day, too, was a 12-hour journey....

There is no point now in recounting all the drama and misfortune that happened on that journey-- because, in retrospect, none of it matters... Luke Isaac Westerman took his first breaths at 6:39 p.m. on February 3rd, 2004 and our lives will never be the same. He was healthy, strong, and big!-- 9 pounds, 2.5 ounces, 21 inches. I am holding him right now as
I type with one hand.... He is even bigger now-- as he tries to grab at the keyboard himself!

When I think back to how little I knew about becoming a mother those first couple of months, it makes me smile. Thankfully, my mom stayed with us and gave us a good head start on things, but when she left, we realized how little we still knew. We were so terrified about so many things-- is he getting enough food, is he warm enough, how do we get him to sleep, what do we do when he cries?!? It was a great bonding experience for Scott and me-- we were a team in the most important challenge of our lives. We took turns staying up with him and holding him-- Scott tried to let me sleep as much as possible.

Now, we feel like pros-- although we are far from it, I'm sure! We know when to feed him, we know when he should sleep-- He is predictable and easy to care for... and we get plenty of sleep just like before he was born. Each day we continue to be in awe of what a miracle he is and are still overwhelmed that he is actually ours!

So-- Happy 6 months, Luke! They have been the best of times and the worst of times-- and we wouldn't have it any other way....