Luke finally contracted his first cold this week. I guess I should feel blessed that he was 6 1/2 months old before his first illness! I remember when he was one month old praying that he wouldn't get sick because I wouldn't have a clue what to do! I still don't, but at least I am not such a panicked new mom at this point.
It actually hasn't been that bad-- He has a runny, sniffley, nose and a cough... He has still been happy overall. His appetite hasn't decreased, and he is still sleeping through the night, thankfully!
I didn't go to the Y Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday though-- which was a bummer for me... but, I didn't think it was wise to put him in the nursery with his symptoms. I think he is on the upswing of it all, so maybe we can get back into our routine Monday.
I happened to catch a rerun of "The View"-- a TV talk show that comes on when I am at the Y, so I don't ever see it normally... But, the cast of the Stepford Wives was on. The "new" Stepford Wives 2004 is a remake of the 1975 original. Basically, the plot line is that women are being brain-washed into becoming these "perfect" wives-- who live to serve their husbands in every way and no longer have a mind or life of their own. In the '75 version, it is presented as a horror film of sorts-- in the ERA era it was the worst thing that could happen to a woman-- to be forced to be subservient to a man! In the 2004 update, it is passed off as more of a joke-- How funny that any woman would want to be a perfect wife to some man. It is funny how 30 years changes our perspectives on cultural issues....
As I listened to these Hollywood types try to define what a Stepford wife was, I began to ponder how similar or dissimilar my life was to their definitions.... A woman who cooks and cleans and emotionally supports her husband-- Yes, on my good days! A woman who likes to paint, sew, decorate-- yep, that's me! So-- I begin to wonder if I was the brunt of the joke?! Is it laughable in our society for a woman to devote her life to family and home?
Faith Hill, who plays Sarah Sunderson in the film-- one of the brain-washed robot wives-- is given an interesting line regarding her husband: "Herb is my religion, because I worship him." Wow! Have I let being a stay-at-home mom/wife become the sole focus of my life-- my "religion"?
Many deep thoughts were swirling in my head about the role of a woman, wifely responsibilities, motherhood, career----- Have I lost myself in order to stay home, raise Luke, and keep Scott happy with a clean living room carpet that he can walk barefoot on when he gets home from work?!?!
No-- I'm not lost. In fact, I am in an amazing process of finding myself... I am no longer "teacher" to 100 kids a day-- I am teacher to Luke each time I pick up "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?" I am no longer just "daughter" but now a mother, looking into Luke's eyes and learning for the first time how much my parents must care for me. I am no longer living life just for myself, but I now have a much higher calling.
No-- I am not a perfect wife. I have MUCH room for improvement. It has been hard for me to still give Scott as much love and attention as he deserves now that Luke has arrived on the scene. But, I do enjoy being the C.H.O. (chief housing officer) of our home. I am learning that even washing and folding clothes can be a ministry. Having a hot meal on the table at night is another way of saying "I love you." Fresh sheets on the bed and clean baseboards are blessings which remind me that I have a lovely home that God has entrusted me to maintain.
I still think. I still enjoy debating theology-- and sometimes politics. I still enjoy traveling and skiing and shopping and singing and many other things that were a part of my life before Luke. I guess I see my life with him as a new chapter being written instead of the end of some fairy tale that I lived before.
I am blessed to be a wife to Scott and a mother to Luke. I am learning to be thankful for each moment that God gives to me each day to analyze "deep thoughts" like this! I am sure He gets a kick out of it!
Saturday, August 21, 2004
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2 comments:
It is so refreshing to hear that perspective from a CHO (I love your acronym!!). One of the desires that God has placed in my heart is to be the very same - a stay-at-home wife and mother. However, as of yet, I still have not found the man that is to share that desire with me as my husband and the father to my children.
When I share this dream with others, they often deride it, saying that surely I don't want to "waste" my talents and abilities and give up my career to be just a stay-at-home mom. I know that there are many ways in which I use other talents and abilities that God has given me - right now that includes a career in accounting. However, I strongly believe that when His timing is right, I will be granted the desires of my heart. Then I will get to experience new joys and blessings in a different stage of life!
Thanks for sharing!
(p.s. I come to you via Brandon's blog)
As a husband and dad, I have never considered the "domestic front" to be idyllic, restful, or devoid of challenges. Nina was never "lazy" if the house wasn't clean; she was never "unloving" if there wasn't a hot dinner on the table when I got home. I usually assumed she had other things happening with the kids.
For the past three years, I have been the one at home. Yep, that's me, "Mister Mom." Managing Domestic Engineer. Certified Potty-Training Technician. And if Nina could be a "Domestic Goddess," could I be a "Domestic God?" Well, demi-god maybe.
This perspective has given me even more respect for the job of the person (usually the mom) who is home with the kids, and managing the household, especially if they were in the workforce before. It's a change of mind-set; some of us were ready for it, even primed for it. I know lots of women who were glad to walk away from a job and into a bigger job at home. I know a few men who have found it to be a more rewarding challenge than a career could be.
Me, I'm just glad I haven't burned the house down.
Here are some pros and cons, in my little world:
Cons:
- Lack of adult conversation (not that there wasn't a lack of it in some of the places I've worked, of course).
- The repetetive nature of house cleaning and laundry.
- I hate doing laundry.
- No new electronic toys paid for by my employer.
- Few interesting technical projects.
- I hate doing laundry.
- Having to come up with ideas for meals.
- No midday coffee breaks with coworkers.
- I hate doing laundry.
- Feeling isolated from the world.
- Did I mention the laundry thing?
Pros:
- I know whether the dishes in the dishwasher are clean.
- I know where to find all the laundry, since I put it away (or not).
- Most weeks, I have time to watch the three TV shows I like (all on tape delay, of course).
- I have time to do other things when those shows are in reruns for the season.
- I have time to volunteer at church and at the kids' school.
- I have been crowned "Champion, All-Time Best Macaroni-and-Cheese Chef" by my family.
- I occasionally have time to grill something for dinner. (MMmmmm.... barbecue....)
- There is no danger of going into an all-day meeting and having to put up with really bad coffee...
- My wife is patient with my hatred of laundry, inability to spot every speck of dirt, and my dislike of vacuuming.
All in all, though, I'm managing. Depression was a big problem for a while, but that is giving way to acceptance and industriousness.... slowly.
Just call me Joe Stepford.
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