Count it Pure Joy...

I couldn't sleep last night for the longest time-- thoughts were just racing around in my head.... One of the topics I began pondering as one can only do at 2:00 a.m. was the concept of pain-- or rather, endurance through pain.

I guess it had been on my mind because the last thing I did before bed was reply to an e-mail. One of my family members has recently gone through a divorce. There is much pain and hurt. My advice was to remember that there is hope on the other side of pain, so we should almost learn to embrace the pain, knowing that it will make us wiser and stronger once we make it to the other side. I started thinking about how the physical realm of life actually bears this out over and over.... This week my son turned one-- Oh, how I remember the pain this time last year that I felt when the first pangs of labor struck! At first I was completely taken aback by the force and intensity of it all, but I learned pretty quickly that if I stopped trying to fight it, I could control it instead of it controlling me... When I focused on breathing in deeply and relaxing, despite the hurt, it was much more bearable... and the reward on the other side?-- Well, he is priceless!

Really, at every stage of life and in the smallest details of my ordinary routine, this is proved to be true over and over again.... When I am working out and grimacing in pain and think I can't possible lift the weights one more time... I grit my teeth and keep going-- mind over matter-- and although I literally tear my muscles down each day, they rebuild and become even stronger. I like being sore when I get out of bed in the morning because I know that I really pushed myself the day before. Or-- the pain of conquering a fear of some type... it is so hard to get up the courage to follow through, but once it is over, there is such a sense of accomplishment-- like the time I was learning to ski and the slope I was trying to tackle might as well have been Mount Everest! I was freezing and in pain because of the many falls I had already endured. I have to laugh now, because that green slope is nothing compared to the black diamond runs I can easily maneuver now.

Luke is also showing me this each day-- One day he can't sit or roll over... he is so frustrated and defeated... soon he is crawling, standing and stepping! Today I took him for his 12-month check up and he had to get two shots. I think he was definitely in pain by the way he was screaming! Even as his mom who wants to shelter and protect him in every way, I have never really gotten upset, because I know that this pain I have allowed him to experience is for his own good-- and he won't remember it in the long run!

So-- this all sounds great in the wee hours of the morning in my half-conscious state.... But, when you get those e-mails about friends and loved ones who are in the midst of their drowning seas of pain... you hurt, too. A father and mother who are grieving over their prodigal son who is still wallowing in the pit of drugs and darkness; a husband who is grieving over his wife's physical ailments and struggles; a woman wounded from the betrayal of her husband and his complete abandonment of her-- all of these are at the top of my prayer list today.

It is much easier to celebrate with people on the other side of the "Refiner's Fire" than it is to know what to say or do when someone is crying out from their loneliness or grief.

I often worry myself-- that although I logically comprehend the process of pain-- that some lessons God ultimately teaches us can only be learned through the pain experience... I fear that when my next bout with pain occurs-- whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually-- that I won't be up to the challenge-- that I will let the pain blind me from the bigger picture of it all... plus, I don't really like to think about what would have to happen in my life to bring about such pain-- betrayal, abandonment, sickness, death....

God tells us that we should consider it joy when we experience those types of trials because they do lead us to the discipline and perseverance we need to maintain our faith. It is so much harder when the human parts of us are hurting and grieving. Yet, it is this very pain which reminds us that this world is not our home and creates the restless longing in our hearts and soul for something more-- something better beyond this life and this existence... an eternal life with Him.

Thank you, Father, for promising to bring good out of our pain and sorrows-- for reminding us that You will use these times to discipline and to shape us into more of whom You want us to be. I also thank You for bringing comfort and peace to us even in the midst of our suffering and pain, and I beg You to shower the ones I love who are in pain with Your grace and mercy today-- surround them with Your love and give them wisdom and knowledge to strengthen them so that they may endure.