Today I was a little sad for the first time since I have been on bed rest-- which I guess has been going on for close to a month now. Why? Well, besdies the fact that Luke turned 22 months-old today, Santa came to church, and I wanted to make sure that Luke had his picture made. I also wanted to make sure that Scott captured every second on video and with our digital camera so I could share in the moment. It turns out that Luke is still not very keen on sitting on a man's lap who is dressed in red with a big white beard! Scott had his hands full trying to get him to sit long enough for a picture-- he cried the entire time. This didn't leave him much of an opportunity to capture the moment on film-- he had his hands full.
I was disappointed. I wanted a nice shot of Luke on Santa's lap for our Christmas newsletter (the official photos won't be back in time to include). I felt like if I had only been able to go I could have helped-- I might have been able to calm him and get him to sit long enough for a good shot. I was also just sad and frustrated that I missed out on the moment period.
I have missed out on several things already due to bed rest-- two weeks ago ZOE got to lead worship at the Ryman! How I wish I could have had that experience! Last week ZOE led at church and I hated to miss out on that since we rarely sing during church services here in Nashville. This weekend is Scott's company Christmas party in Denver. Of course, I can't go now... And the list goes on... But, I think the whole Luke thing bothers me more than any of the rest.
It is hard to be motivated to even decorate for Christmas since I can't be the one to hang the wreaths and trim the tree. It won't be the same directing Scott on where to put everything. I absolutely LOVE to decorate for Christmas, too... I have four trees and boxes and boxes of decorations that I love to pull out every year-- not to mention my Santa ornament collection! I must have close to 500 at least! I always pull out my Christmas music stash as soon as the plates are cleared at Thanksgiving! I so love to hear all my favorite Christmas cds again and to sit down at the piano and play carols to my heart's content... Add to that not being able to go shopping for hours in all the wonderful bustle of Christmas looking for the perfect presents.... Anyway-- I know I need to at least get one tree up for Luke's sake even if it's hard to get into the spirit.
OK-- so enough of the pity party sob story! My gloom only lasted for 30 minutes at most! I just reminded myself of how very blessed I am this Christmas. I have the most wonderful husband any woman could ever ask for-- I have the most precious son who delights me each day in new ways-- I have a gorgeous, comfortable home with or without Christmas decorations-- and I have a sweet baby girl who is on the way that I can't possibly even imagine how she will shape and change my life for the better-- I have devoted family and friends who are always there to support and love me.... Who could ask for anything more?!? God you are TOO good to me! Forgive me when I stop for even a single moment and try to feel sorry for myself! How pathetic!
So-- my "one day at a time" mentality is still in full gear. And despite the first four paragraphs of this entry, it hasn't been nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I started our Christmas newsletter today and that will take me all next week to compile-- plenty to keep me occupied! It is so fun to look back on the past 12 months and to ponder all that has happened, and it further reminds me of how very blessed we are.
I was disappointed. I wanted a nice shot of Luke on Santa's lap for our Christmas newsletter (the official photos won't be back in time to include). I felt like if I had only been able to go I could have helped-- I might have been able to calm him and get him to sit long enough for a good shot. I was also just sad and frustrated that I missed out on the moment period.
I have missed out on several things already due to bed rest-- two weeks ago ZOE got to lead worship at the Ryman! How I wish I could have had that experience! Last week ZOE led at church and I hated to miss out on that since we rarely sing during church services here in Nashville. This weekend is Scott's company Christmas party in Denver. Of course, I can't go now... And the list goes on... But, I think the whole Luke thing bothers me more than any of the rest.
It is hard to be motivated to even decorate for Christmas since I can't be the one to hang the wreaths and trim the tree. It won't be the same directing Scott on where to put everything. I absolutely LOVE to decorate for Christmas, too... I have four trees and boxes and boxes of decorations that I love to pull out every year-- not to mention my Santa ornament collection! I must have close to 500 at least! I always pull out my Christmas music stash as soon as the plates are cleared at Thanksgiving! I so love to hear all my favorite Christmas cds again and to sit down at the piano and play carols to my heart's content... Add to that not being able to go shopping for hours in all the wonderful bustle of Christmas looking for the perfect presents.... Anyway-- I know I need to at least get one tree up for Luke's sake even if it's hard to get into the spirit.
OK-- so enough of the pity party sob story! My gloom only lasted for 30 minutes at most! I just reminded myself of how very blessed I am this Christmas. I have the most wonderful husband any woman could ever ask for-- I have the most precious son who delights me each day in new ways-- I have a gorgeous, comfortable home with or without Christmas decorations-- and I have a sweet baby girl who is on the way that I can't possibly even imagine how she will shape and change my life for the better-- I have devoted family and friends who are always there to support and love me.... Who could ask for anything more?!? God you are TOO good to me! Forgive me when I stop for even a single moment and try to feel sorry for myself! How pathetic!
So-- my "one day at a time" mentality is still in full gear. And despite the first four paragraphs of this entry, it hasn't been nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I started our Christmas newsletter today and that will take me all next week to compile-- plenty to keep me occupied! It is so fun to look back on the past 12 months and to ponder all that has happened, and it further reminds me of how very blessed we are.
2 comments:
Don't be down on yourself. Being overwhelmed during the holidays is common. But of course your situation is not common. I am reading a book called "Can Martha Have A Mary Christmas?". Think of this time as an opportunity to dwell at His feet for hours at a time and listen to the words of the Savior. Your Martha voice will beckon. It will call to you to desire the busy life, but try to focus on the gift of having some "Mary" time. I am praying for you. Listened to a Zoe CD yesterday and it lifted my soul higher! Thank you.
Trust me when I say that you would NOT have calmed your son down had you been there!!! The 2-yr. Santa picture ALWAYS has a screaming kid!!! Both of mine did it & I've seen lots of other kids do it too. It's just typical of that age. In fact, it would be sad if he WAS calm - it's more fun to look back at the screaming, crying pictures anyway!
Don't worry about Christmas this year. You might not get to decorate & it seems sad for the moment, but it will only last a moment!!! Next year as you're decorating with your daughter crawling at your feet, you will be able to look back & know it was worth it! I say let your husband & son have a go of decorating this year & enjoy the change! There are great memories to be made in the breaking of tradition - otherwise it'll all just blend. Take heart! Be encouraged! You're being a great mom every minute you stay on that couch! It must be hard, but press on!!! I'm praying for you!
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