A "Text Book" Tragedy

I am so glad that the election is over-- and that my guy won! I do have empathy for those who wanted Kerry to win--- I am sure it is sad and disappointing for them.... I hope God's hand was at work. It does seem like a miracle! At first EVERYONE-- even the Bush camp-- thought Kerry was going to win. Blame it on bad exit polling-- but, maybe a higher power intervened. There were millions of people praying that God would help guide the election. I choose to believe that He did. I saw a story on CBN that reported a million Christians in India had gathered to pray for America and our election! That was so humbling to me and made me ponder how much our country impacts the rest of the world. I honestly had never even thought about the Christians in India before-- and I had no idea there were over 1 million of them! God is good! You can check out the story here-- http://www.cbn.com/CBNNews/News/041102b.asp

Anyway-- enough of politics! Our world has been good, but my family has had quite a bit to deal with lately. I won't go into all the details of who and why online, but someone in our family is getting a divorce. There are many causes/reasons/excuses that could be given on both sides... but the bottom line is that the couple never truly had God as a part of their marriage. After a year of misery, loneliness, and no communication, there was just nothing left to hold the marriage together. Blame is hard to assign in situations like these... It is such a tragedy and just so sad.

This is the second major divorce that Scott and I have witnessed up close since we were married-- his parents divorced going on five years ago after close to 30 years of marriage. Oddly enough, the situations are very similar-- both were pretty much "text-book" examples of divorce. Communication starts to fade, each stops sharing his/her hopes, fears, and dreams-- even the little day-to-day things that form the bond of a healthy relationship. Pretty soon, so much time has gone by, and there is so much water under the bridge, resentment starts to build. There is no longer an intimate bond and the couple becomes more like roommates than loving life partners. At some point, one of them begins to look outside the marriage for encouragement and affection-- and simply someone to share his/her heart with again... This all leads to the end of the marriage and the beginning of a new relationship with someone else-- that they think will bring them happiness. Perhaps it is sometimes easier to just run away and start all over again with someone new than it is to stick it out and try to make things work. Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to share that opinion-- and that is why it is so sad when one member of the marriage wants to work things out and the other has already checked out-- and maybe has already "checked in" with someone new.

In His gracious mercy, God does offer life-- even after divorce! And I am praying that this will be the case for those in our family. The saddest effect still remains the eternal scar it leaves on the entire family-- the relationships that are severed and forever altered, the photos that have to be taken down and hidden away, the awkward explanations that have to be invented to offer the children who don't understand the change, the financial and material dealings that have to be squabbled over and settled, the family vacations that have to be modified and will never be the same..... It is clear to see why God hates divorce.

Scott and I have at least benefited from seeing the complete devastation that divorce brings to a family. We are desperately trying not to take our marriage for granted and to keep the lines of communication flowing. And although I still consider Scott to be my best friend, I admit that things have changed in our marriage since Luke arrived. It just isn't as easy to make time for each other and to be as emotionally and physically available to each other as it used to be. But, the upside is that we are a new family now-- the three of us-- and we are learning that life with our precious son is yet another thing that is bringing us closer together-- and what fun we are having in the process of watching him grow up right in front of our eyes each day! Today we were checking out at Kroger. We had a very friendly Mexican man who was bagging our groceries. He said "Hola!" to Luke. When we were leaving, I told Luke, "Say, Good-Bye!"-- which usually doesn't elicit much of response beyond a smile, but this time he raised his right hand and waved!! It was SO great! It was the first time he has done that! I will always remember it! He has also started crawling all over now and claps his hands. He is learning so fast!

We are blessed. I pray that above all things we never lose sight of the One who continues to bless us and guide us. Teach us Lord, to wait upon You so that You will renew our strength daily.