An Earthquake of the Soul

What a completely gorgeous day here in Nashville! There was a chill in the air this morning as Luke and I headed to the Y-- a part of our normal routine.... But, today when I dropped him off in the nursery, it was rather quiet-- not many kids had arrived yet. The nursery is divided into two sections-- the area in the back of the room is for the smaller babies-- 6 weeks to those who haven't learned to crawl/walk. It is divided by a wooden gate and it is the side where I always place Luke every morning. I sign him in, hang up his bag, and take him to the back and put him in an exersaucer and grab him some toys. Well, since there weren't many older babies-- less than 18 months-- all the babies were on the "big baby" side. So, I plopped Luke down beside one of his neighbor friends who is 4 months older. I figured that by the time I returned, they would have moved Luke back to the baby side....

Well, when I came back to pick him up and looked in the window, there he was still on the big kid side-- But, what really struck me is that he was playing!! He was totally enthralled and having fun. There was another little girl next to him named Mary who could already walk. He was picking toys out of a storage bucket and looked like such a big boy! It almost brought tears to my eyes because it made me realize that he is growing up SO fast! Soon he will be crawling and walking, too!

When I walked in the room he didn't even notice me-- he was too interested in the toys. I sat down on the floor next to him and just observed. It is so amazing to think back to the days I would hold him and get absolutely no response from him-- he was just a newborn with an underdeveloped brain-- Now he is a full-fledged boy who can laugh and think and learn! AMAZING!

Last night we took dinner to friends of ours who have just had their first child. As I held their sweet little 8 pound girl, it was so hard to imagine that Luke had been that way once, too. I listened as Lana asked questions that all new moms wrestle with... Is it normal for her to cry and be upset or is something wrong? She seems to have a gas problems and her stomach seems upset--- Is nursing always so hard at first? As I attempted to reassure her and encourage her, it dawned on me that it was completely ironic that I was now a motherhood expert-- at least in her eyes! If she could have only witnessed my first few weeks with Luke!

We are so far removed from those crazy anxious feelings of new parenthood! Those sleep deprived days and nights and days and nights that all run together into a blur! But, oh how well I remember the stress and the feeling that nothing would ever return to normal! Be glad I didn't blog the first few months of Luke's life! HORMONES!

Anyway-- I have said all of the above to say this... The little moment I was blessed to witness this morning with Luke makes me realize that so much of life is all about perspective. In the midst of chaos, confusion, and stress it is so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is easy to forget that God is faithful and that He is at work to make good out of all things, if we only let Him. I am so glad that I have reached a point in motherhood where it is no longer stressful and exhausting-- although once he starts crawling and walking, I'm sure that will change! I am so glad that I get to spend every day with him and that I am blessed to watch him develop into an amazing miracle of God. Children genuinely are a gift from the Lord! (Psalm 127:3)

One of my friends gave me this quote when I was only a couple of months pregnant last summer:
"Those first few weeks are an unearthly season. From the outside you remain so ordinary, no one can tell from looking at you that you have experienced an earthquake of the soul. You've been torn asunder, invested with an ancient, incomprehensible magic. It's the one thing we never quite get over: that we contain our own future." --Barbara Kingsolver (Animal Dreams)

I would add that it is an incomprehensible MIRACLE of GOD! How wonderful that He has allowed us to know the beautiful ups and downs of parenthood here on earth! Life is no longer ordinary, and we can now be thankful for the earthquake that forever reshaped our souls.