Water into Wine

What an incredible weekend! I am not even sure where to start!

This past weekend was our ZOE conference here in Nashville. Over 1,000 people attended-- our largest number ever! The weekend was rich with great teaching including Brian McLaren author of "A New Kind of Christian."

So, now I have so much stuff rummaging around my brain-- so many great ideas that I have been exposed to and need to process.... Where to begin?!?!

First, let me say that I was overwhelmed at how many people approached me to say that they have been reading my blog! It is really hard to comprehend that so many would even want to read the random ramblings of a stay-at-home mom... but, I am honored that you have been blessed by it. It was great to meet those of you who have visited and I hope we will all keep learning from each other and growing on our journey.

A few things that stuck in my head from this weekend:

• If we truly call ourselves Christians and have no non-Christian friends, can we really say that we are His disciples? It is like someone who has studied to become a doctor-- who has spent years and years learning all the intricacies of medicine and how to practice, and yet he has never been near a sick person. It is wasted knowledge and skill if it is never put into practice.
• We can get caught up in "Holy Desperation" and burn-out if we begin to sign-on for every task that comes our way... God is not looking for how much we did or were involved in while on earth... He is much more concerned with how we lived and who we touched in His name.
• Jesus' first miracle was turning water into wine. Even though it was not yet His time, He recognized the urgent situation that arose at the wedding when the wine ran out. He intervened and changed the water into an abundant supply of wine-- about 600 bottles worth! He is still working that way in our lives. For most of us, life is running pretty smoothly-- our wedding feast. But, then suddenly-- sometimes in an instant-- things take a tragic turn for the worst. Our wine runs out-- we are empty-- we are devastated. Jesus has compassion and He changes our "water" into His wonderful wine. That is the kind of God we serve!
• That Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline is a GREAT book, but challenging!

I could go on and on about the things that I continue to wrack my brain about! I am still frustrated that I don't feel like I am doing everything I should as far as my Christianity goes. I don't think I have quite figured out how to use my gifts to best reach others for Him. This goes so far beyond the "works vs. grace" mentality-- it is just a restlessness on my part that I am not living up to the dreams God has planned for me, and I am not really sure how to figure out exactly what those dreams/plans are-- but I have a sneaking suspicion that Foster's book is going to help me with that in some way.

I also feel frustrated that I can't seem to find peace about other spiritual aspects in my life like the small group I am in and our Sunday morning class at church-- But, perhaps as Brandon likes to say-- "Creamed corn anyone?!" For those of you who aren't familiar with that reference-- it means maybe a public blog is not the best place to lay out personal details.... Basically, I am sure that problems (as I perceive them to be problems) lie with me anyway-- I need to relinquish my need to control situations or try to make them what I feel they should be. I need to remember that God alone is the change Agent-- not me. I just wish He would show me how to be His tool in the change process-- but, maybe He doesn't desire change or isn't even concerned with the things that are issues to me. He might want me focused on an entirely different agenda. Maybe the "brick wall" I feel like I am hitting my head up against is His way of telling me to head a completely different direction-- to just walk away and start over again. But-- is running away a ever a good solution, especially if the core of the matter lies within me and has nothing to do with any external circumstances?! SO confusing!!

Luke turned 8 months old yesterday! It is mind-boggling that he could be that old! He is still such a sweetie! So happy and fun! Scott and I just can't believe how wonderful he is! I desperately want to make the most of each moment we have with him-- I don't want to have too many regrets on things I wish I had done. I am learning that time already flies by too quickly and I am praying that I won't be blind to the moments that Scott and I just need to be still and savor the precious times we have with Luke.

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Lord-- I definitely do not have all the answers-- just more questions lately. I trust that You are working at this very moment in my life to bring me to the place you want and need me to be-- even if I can't see Your hand at work right now. Help me to be a Godly mother to Luke and a Godly wife to Scott-- and use me, Father-- however You want. Help me to be more gracious for the many times you have turned my water into wine and help me to remember, that like the wine at the wedding-- you often save the best for last!