Up the Down Staircase

This Sunday, Scott, Luke and I leave for a big family vacation in Destin-- my Mom and Dad, my Aunt, my two sisters, and niece and nephew! Over the past several years, our family has taken trips together-- mostly our West-- to Yellowstone and Glacier. This is the first time we have ever headed to the beach-- much to my youngest sister's delight!

Luke continues to teach me new things about the world and life each day. He is getting very independent lately as far as his mobility. He weighs around 30 lbs. now, so I am more than happy for him to walk everywhere that he chooses, as long as he holds my hand when necessary. One of his favorite jaunts is from our car, inside the Y, to the nursery, and back every morning. He will proudly hold my hand and stroll in the front door, greeting Miss Erin and Mr. Michael each day as they scan our card and say hello to him. Then we head to the double staircase which leads us down to the nursery. I am still amazed at how his walking skills have progressed just over the past few months. Now he can easily hold the railings and maneuver his way down the stairs, slowly but surely.

His persistent stair climbing always draws thoughtful comments and smiles, whether he is going up or down. Perhaps this is because everyone must wait on him or step around him in order to use the stairs themselves! Everyone is sweet and patient with him.

Wednesday, we were headed up the stairs from the nursery. As I was encouraging him with, "Good job, Luke!", "What a big boy you are!", I noticed a precious elderly woman coming down the stairs on the opposite side of the railing. She looked over at Luke and smiled. It occurred to me at that moment what an irony this all was... Luke was trying with all his might to get up the stairs as she was now trying with all her might to get down the stairs... It was a whole "circle of life" realization that at some point, time kind of reverses itself and we all become "young" and helpless again-- just as we started out in the world.

Luke and I spent Tuesday night with our small group (Scott was in Denver). One of the couples in our group is moving to Knoxville this weekend-- he will start law school there in a week. This was a "going away party" of sorts. Their little boy is 6 months older than Luke. We all hate to see them go, but at the same time, we are excited for them. Change is an inevitable part of life, no doubt, but sometimes it is easier than others.

I have never been good at change. I have openly admitted that for several years now, but that hasn't made the changes I have faced--and am currently facing-- any easier, most of the time. As I am growing older, I am realizing many things about myself-- I am especially weird about some things. I think I analyze life and the world more than most-- this is both good and bad. For example, I have always questioned the church "baggage" that I grew up hearing and being taught, wondering why it was so easy for most people to come to church every week, sit on a pew, and NEVER question things! It seemed as if they chose to live in ignorant bliss. They surely never sat up all night debating a particular part of Scripture or wondering why things were the way they were! They just lived life and enjoyed the time they had... I always had to make things more complicated for myself. But, now, maybe I see that they all probably had those questioning moments in life, but they lived through them, survived them, and chose NOT to make their lives more complicated than necessary! Maybe bliss isn't ignorance after all, but instead it is "release". I need to remember to release all my concerns, frustrations, and questions to God and let Him handle it! When I don't, I am showing a lack of faith and a pathetic reliance on myself instead of Him.

So-- I trust that in "My Summer of Spiritual Discontent" that God will ultimately make all things clear to me, and He will bring me peace about the changes in my life.