My Babble and the Flip Side of Babel

Well-- it is almost midnight, and I should have gone to bed a LONG time ago. It is hard to keep a normal schedule when Scott is out of town. I always end up staying up late for some reason.

Having Scott gone makes for LONG days, too. Luke is still a dream-- so fun to be with, but I never underestimate how great it is when "Daddy" comes walking through the door at night. It is just nice to be able to sit back and watch him interact with Luke, or change a diaper, or feed him, or give him a bath. It lets me focus on other things and allows me to have a more objective perspective on things. Scott really is an AMAZING dad. Luke and I are blessed.

Once again I find myself struggling with my spiritual journey. I have finally begun to acknowledge that I am running on empty. I have been so busy lately that it has taken awhile for me to finally see that I have overdrawn on my "faith account" because I have not been making any deposits! I am the classic example of someone who can get so caught up in the "doing" that I can completely forget about the "being"-- as long as I'm "doing" churchy things, then I must be deepening my walk. This is simply a lie.

Tonight I was blessed to hear something that I needed to hear... Thanks, God, for speaking to me through the message of a godly woman. She reminded me of a very important thing....

I have been wondering what my purpose was as far as how God wanted to use me or what He wanted me to do in life. Surely there had to be more than being a stay-at-home mom living in isolated domestic bliss! What do you want from me, Lord?! Tell me! Tell me!

He did tell me-- and all of us:

Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." John 6:29

It is so simple that it is profound! God wants me to stop trying to chart out the future and to focus on Jesus only-- BELIEVE! I had been trying to put the proverbial cart before the horse. For some reason, I had fooled myself into thinking that I was fulfilling the will of God by "doing" instead of allowing my heart to be totally taken with believing in Him, and trusting that He would lead me where He wanted me to be in His own time. It is only in first believing in Him, and being changed by all that encompasses, that we are even able to begin to comprehend what He might have in store for us. It is also the overwhelming nature of our belief and our faith which motivates us to do those works that "He has prepared us in advance to do." It has to be in that order-- or our motivations are not pure. I had lost sight of that.... I pray that I will be more aware of it-- my tendencies to focus on the spiritual "externals" instead of the internals.

I also feel like I have had a minor break through in my thinking on the Holy Spirit. I have always been stumped by the concept of Him. How does He work in our lives today? Am I truly living a life in the Spirit-- by His power? If not, why?..... Anyway, I have also been in many late night talks about why He seems to have worked differently amongst the disciples in the first century than He does today-- at least, if He still does, I have never witnessed it firsthand-- although I have heard many reports-- even from within my own family. I have never seen someone healed on the spot, raised from the dead, or seen someone prophecy.

So-- I have been reading a book that mentioned that throughout Scripture God would pour out His Spirit on people for a specific time or task-- like Gideon, Samson, David, Elijah, Elisha-- He allowed them to participate in miracles that demonstrated His power to a lost world. Then, when Jesus came and died, we were able to access the Spirit once and for all time-- He came to dwell in us. I had never thought about John 20:22 before-- when a resurrected Christ returns to reveal himself to a sad, defeated bunch of His terrified disciples:

And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit."

Is this the first sign of the new indwelling Spirit-- the Comforter that Christ had promised?! It is all so deep for me to ponder, but-- at least I have had some new thoughts on it.

It is the Spirit who allows us to move beyond the "doing" and to truly live in the power of "being" what God has called us to be!

I also have to pass on this tidbit that I picked up from John York at church on Sunday-- I had NEVER EVER thought of this before!! (Excuse my poor attempt to summarize your sermon, John!) He had proposed that for all of time, humans have sought to differentiate themselves from each other-- Cain and Able, Northside Church of Christ and First Baptist Church, etc. He said that the Tower of Babel is the perfect example of that differentiation. They were arrogantly trying to establish themselves as on par with God, and He chose to show them that they were sadly mistaken. BUT-- when God's perfect plan of reconciliation began to further unfold at Pentecost, there was a complete reversal.... Now instead of many languages and confusion, there was one message of truth understood by all! Pentecost was the flip side of the Babel coin! God's perfect timing and plan revealed! Or, as the man I was sitting next to exclaimed, "The Tower of Babel was all about the mouth-- Pentecost was all about the ears!" Neat thoughts! Ponder that for awhile! Thanks, John!

Well-- thanks for reading my midnight thoughts! I must sleep! :)