
Tomorrow we head to Pepperdine. I am running around today trying to make sure we have everything we need packed up and ready to go! It's astounding how many "accessories" you have to bring for the kids!
I just had to take a moment to document the most amazing weekend! Our small group had a retreat this weekend, and I am still overwhelmed with what a great experience it was. This is a group of 5 couples-- we all went to Lipscomb together except for one couple who moved here a few years ago. We officially began meeting together as a group last summer.
It was easy for all of us to join the group-- we all went to church together, most of us had known each other well over a decade... We had been in studies together before and had been friends for a long time. But, in forming this group this time around, we all decided we wanted more than just a social circle-- we wanted a genuine family of people who we could be real with, share our hearts and secrets with-- people who would hold us accountable and challenge us spiritually.
We decided to meet every Sunday, and things began as most small groups do. We tackled Eldredge's
Waking the Dead. It was a great book, and we had nice discussions on trying to live a life for the Lord "fully alive" and aware that Satan wanted to keep us in the dark to the abundant life God has called us to live. We did a pretty good job of staying on track for the most part, but sometimes it got hard to stay organized and to meet every week. We all have busy schedules and many things going on. In spite of the occasional lapses, we all pledged our commitment to the group and forged on.
During this time, Scott and I had left Woodmont and had begun attending Otter Creek. Another one of the couples had left Woodmont and joined another local Church of Christ. The other three couples were on "church tours" of sorts, trying to find a place that felt right (I was hoping they would land at OC with us!). Well, the other three couples did start coming to OC and I am praying that they join in the near future! Yeah!
Also during this time I was put on bed rest, and three of the girls were also pregnant! I safely delivered Caroline, but a few weeks later one of the girls suffered a tragic miscarriage. Then, a few weeks later the last girl in our group announced she was also pregnant! So, there was much happening within the group-- a complete range of emotions and experiences that we were all sharing. House building, moving, and selling was also in the mix.
At one meeting in March, we decided that we all needed to refocus. We had finished the book and we needed to decide where we were headed next. We also needed to re-examine our commitment to the group and what are visions were for it. We decided then and there that we needed to get away one weekend without the kids and have a little retreat. We picked a date and vowed to make it happen!
Well-- this past Saturday it became a reality, and it was honestly like no other retreat I have ever been a part of. I had given each couple a list of questions to answer-- both individually and as a couple (
see end of post). These questions were a way for us to share our pasts and our life experiences with one another. I never realized what a truly amazing time would result from it.
Each couple had a chance to talk and share life stories. There was no time limit and no agenda. We just listened and shared. It was really beautiful, and although we "knew" each other, we learned so many things that we would never have known without this precious time. Secrets were revealed and walls were torn down, both between the couples themselves and between all of us. It was wonderful to begin to see how very similar our struggles were and also how very different each of our lives had been. There was family disfunction, abuse, rebellion, intimacy issues as well as wonderful memories, embarrassing moments, and many "remember whens".
We finally shut things down around 3 am! The next morning we had a terrific time of worship and communion with one another! The weekend was just so wonderful! Every person should be so blessed to be a part of such a family! We plan on being there for each other through thick and thin-- good and bad! Our main goal is to be real with each other so that we can help each other be real with God. This is where genuine relationships must begin-- taking off the masks, acknowledging our quirks and flaws, and revealing our deepest desires and needs. This weekend we laid a great foundation for this to happen.
Thank you, Lord, for friends who become family!
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When were you born? Where?Any interesting circumstances?
Do you have brothers/sisters?
Describe the relationships within your family? Were you close to one another? How have things changed over the years?
What did you admire about your parents? What would you have changed?
How was “faith” and belief in God handled in your home?
How did you handle your own personal faith during your teen/high school years? In college? What were your beliefs? Did you attend church? Why—why not?
Where do you see yourself now as far as your faith? How would you describe your relationship with God? What are you still searching for, if anything? What things have you discovered and learned about God?
How did you meet? How long did it take for you to know that it was “real love”?
Describe your dating relationship? Was it healthy? Did you fight a lot? Break up? Did your faith play any role in the way you related to each other?
How long did you date before you got engaged? How did you get engaged?
Describe your wedding? Any fun stories? What would you change about it now looking back, if anything? What was the best thing about that day?
Describe your honeymoon— where did you go? What did you do? How long were you away? Fun moments?
What was the biggest adjustment for you to make once you were married? Did anything surprise you about what it would be like to be married?
What was your first “big fight” about? How did you resolve it?
Describe your “fight” personalities—how do you fight? Who is aggressive? Passive? Calm? Erratic? Violent? Silent treatment?
What do you fight about the most? Why do you think this is the case?
What is the biggest trial you have faced as a married couple? What helped you get through it together?
How has having children changed your relationship? What is your favorite part about being parents?
Do you agree on how to discipline your kids? Is one of you the “bad guy”? Where do you think your weakness is in this area? Your strengths?
How have you developed your faith together as a couple? Do you talk about your relationship with God together? Do you pray together? Study together? If not, why?
What legacy do you want to leave for your family? What are some things in your marriage that you have tried not to incorporate based upon your parents’ relationship and the example they set for you? What are some things that you have tried to establish as new traditions for your family? What do you want your children to inherit from you as far as relationships go?