Savoring the Moments of Motherhood

Motherhood is going great! Making the transition from one to two has been pretty much what I expected. We are fortunate that Caroline has been relatively "easy" so far, and I'm sure that has made things much nicer for all of us. She has stopped sleeping as long as night-- guess the newborn sleepiness has started to wear off a bit. She is now going 4 hours or so in the first stretch and then back to three for the next stretch. Still not too bad, and I am feeling rested the next day which has been such a blessing. I am praying that she will follow Luke's lead and be sleeping 10-6 by 10 weeks-- I can dream! :)

Caroline turned one month-old yesterday! I just can't believe how fast time has flown! I think having Luke around has kept things busy and made time go faster. Also, I think I have a greater appreciation this time around for just how quickly time does pass, so I am trying to savor every moment-- even at 3:00 am when Caroline is wide awake! She will be running around and saying her first words before we know it!

All in Due Time

A collage of our first week with Caroline.

Luke holding two week-old Caroline.

Caroline: two weeks-old.

It's hard to believe that our sweet little angel is almost 3 weeks old already! She weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces when she was born and was down to 7 lbs 1.5 oz. when we left the hospital. As of last Friday, she weighed 8 lbs 5 oz-- so she is eating well and getting enough milk. She is in the 40 percentile for height and weight. Luke has always been in the 95 percentile-- so she seems so small to us!

She is still doing really well-- She went for almost a week and a half sleeping at night from 9:00ish to 2:30ish and then back down until around 6:00 am. Then, this week she started sleeping a little less each night. I think now that she is getting bigger, she is getting hungrier faster, which is leading her to wake up earlier. During the day she is eating at least every two hours-- she just wants to eat! I remember Luke being the same way in the beginning.

I actually gave her a little formula on Saturday just to see if she would take a bottle. At first she didn't want anything to do with it, then she drank about an ounce with ease. I would really like to have the flexibility of being able to give her a bottle if needed. I have no idea when the "right time" to start her on a bottle is-- I just didn't want to wait until it was too late and she wouldn't be receptive to it. On the other hand, she really doesn't need formula-- although, I nursed her last night and just before I put her down, I gave her an ounce of formula-- she slept from 9 until 2:30 again!! I think the formula fills her up more-- though most doctors say that's an old wives' tale! :) Anyway-- I was always too terrified to even try to give Luke formula, now I realize that it won't hurt them... I just don't make enough milk to pump, and since I am already feeding her every two hours or so, I just don't want to get into the habit of dealing with breastfeeding ALL day long!! I have no intention of replacing a feeding with formula, but I really want to find a balance somehow that will allow me to keep her "bottle friendly" in case of emergency or necessity! It just takes the pressure off me a little bit and frees my schedule up a bit if I need to be gone. Ideas anyone?! Advice?!

I am very proud of the fact that I haven't had to miss a single church service since she was born! My Aunt has been coming to watch her for us on Sunday morning so that we can attend. She will hopefully be able to make her "debut" on Easter-- which will be around the time she turns six weeks. I am looking forward to being able to get out in public with her! :)

So, the adjustment to two has been MUCH easier than I had planned so far-- but we have a LONG way to go! I can't complain though! It is still amazing to look at her knowing what a miracle she is! I can't wait until she starts to develop a little personality and begins to smile!

We got great news this weekend that Luke got accepted to Otter Creek pre-school! We are thrilled! He will be in the "Young 3's" class with 13 other kids. He will go Tuesday/Thursdays from 9 to 2. I think he will love it! He is getting so big! :)

Apart from trying to make sure that Luke gets enough of my time and attention, life is good! I am sure every mom feels like that at first when trying to balance two kids. I am looking forward to the weather warming up and Caroline growing up a little more so that we can get outside to play. All in due time-- they will both grow up fast enough! :)

Treasured in My Heart

Today was my first day at home alone with Caroline! Scott was at work, and Luke was with his grandmother. So, I spent the entire day just gazing at her sweet, precious face! I still can't fathom that these times will pass quickly-- soon she will be more alert, develop her own personality, be able to interact with us... I just want to treasure these times in my heart forever!

My sweet little Caroline, just one week old,

My love for you can never be fully told.

You arrived in my life and captured my heart.

These sweet, precious times will quickly depart.

One day when you're older, you'll know this love, too.

But for now, just be little-- and let me love you.

JOY in ALL Circumstances

One week has come and gone since Caroline entered our lives. Yes, it is still early, but so far, she seems to have a sweet, calm nature. The first night home was rough. She was up only a couple of times, but she wouldn't go back to sleep after she ate-- just very fidgety. That next morning waking up with Caroline in the house was so nice. I was eating breakfast with Mom and Scott-- Caroline was napping away in the bassinet Daddy made her.... she truly had been a handful the night before. I was telling them that it hadn't bothered me a bit staying up with her and that I was just so happy that she was actually here and healthy-- then I just started crying! My mom was worried that I was having a bout of "baby blues", but I was crying tears of JOY! It was just so amazing that she made it! What a miracle!!! We are so blessed!

Her next night (Saturday) was MUCH better-- she actually slept in 4-5 hour blocks. The next morning I even felt good enough to go to church. This was our first Sunday in the new sanctuary at church, and I really hated to miss it. Mom stayed home with Caroline and the rest of us headed out. It was so nice to be out and about so soon this time around-- such a different experience than I had after Luke was born.

She is sleeping and eating on a great schedule. Monday night she went down at 11:30 and didn't get up until 6:30!! How nice to have such a big chunk of sleep! During the day she is doing great at having wake time and enduring all of Luke's poking fingers in her face! He isn't really jealous of her as far as we can tell. He likes to touch her bow in her hair and her nose. He is developing a bad habit of pinching her hand really hard. I know he realizes he shouldn't, but he does it anyway. That is probably his way of keeping the upper hand or something over her... who knows... She is not too bothered by him. He does a pretty good job of holding her, too. It is very sweet!

So far it has been an incredibly easy adjustment but I have also had my mom here to help entertain Luke and let me focus on Caroline. I am starting to feel almost normal as far as my physical issues go. The c-section went so well this time. I never even had any pain medication-- which my night nurse said she had NEVER seen before. The only thing I have had to take is Motrin and I don't really feel like I need it anymore at this point. Scott pulled the tape off my incision last night so now I am officially on the mend. What an awkward feeling having your husband look at your scar! He has really been through the worst with me and has seen me at some pretty low points physically-- yet he never has complained once! It is nice being married to your best friend. I could NEVER have made it through all of this without him.

Marriage has been on our minds a good deal since this weekend... Saturday-- our first full day home-- we had decided to sneak off to Baja Burrito for lunch. We ran into a neighbor who is currently going through a horrible divorce. They had been married almost 30 years and suddenly he left-- he had found his "soul mate"-- the woman God surely intended him to be with. So 3 kids and 30 years later, she is abandoned, and her entire future as she had envisioned it is gone. It was SO heartbreaking and infuriating! Scott-- and his entire family-- had to go through the same thing 5 years ago. Major divorces have happened twice in his family, and it makes him sick. The utter devastation it does to EVERYONE is so appalling. It affects everyone despite what the one leaving seems to rationalize to him/herself. The lasting impact of divorce is passed on to every generation of the family forever and ever. Those poor boys-- how are they supposed to establish healthy relationships when they look at the example their dad has set for them?!

Of course-- no one ever thinks that divorce will happen to them. At one time, our neighbor was in the exact spot we are now-- New babies, new life, new hope-- wonderfully exciting happy times! How could she have known that 25 years later her husband would sit across from her and confess that he had never really loved her and that her whole life had been a lie?!?!

The whole thing really disturbs me. I look at the 5 couples in our small group... Odds say at least one of us won't make it. So, how do we all beat the odds?! How do we keep from finding ourselves in the same boat 20 years from now-- if not sooner? How do we keep from becoming blind or naive about the condition of our marriages? How do we maintain the love and respect we have for each other? How do we avoid sharing our hearts with another and drifting apart?

Well-- I certainly do not have all the answers to those questions. But, we have decided that if we ever forget the calling God has given us-- to be faithful to one another, then it is over. If we don't daily sacrifice our wants to what God wants for us, then we completely make ourselves vulnerable to the collapse of our relationship. I am already praying in advance that God will protect and preserve our marriage and those of our friends. I cannot imagine putting Luke and Caroline through a divorce. Lord, may neither Scott nor I put our own selfish wants and desires ahead of our promise to you or the peace of our children. You have not called me to "make myself happy at all costs"-- instead, You have called me to live in Your JOY, regardless of my circumstances.

Right now, I am just SO thankful that Scott and I are happy, in love, and blessed! I want to treasure these times always! Thank You, Lord! :)

Sweet Caroline

Caroline is doing great! She is nursing well and doing a pretty good job of sleeping at night. The best thing is that I have plenty of energy this time around, and I don't even mind getting up or staying up with her at night!

Luke continues to adapt to having a sister. He likes to touch her face and wants to hold her. He doesn't seem overtly jealous, but he does like getting extra attention from us. Thankfully, he hasn't been bothered by her crying at night-- he's a pretty sound sleeper.

We are so thrilled to have a little girl at home! She is such a sweetie! We are amazingly blessed!

Family of Four-- Latest Photos

Luke met his sister Caroline for the first time this morning. He was very sweet, but we think he will still need a little time to adjust-- just like Scott and I will! :)

How wonderful to be a family of FOUR!

The end of the road-- the start of a new journey!

What a wonderful experience this whole delivery has been! I know that it is because all of you have been covering us with prayer. Caroline came into the world screaming, and it was music to our ears! Scott and I were so calm and relaxed the entire morning. We were really able to enjoy and savor the beautiful moments ahead of us.

Right before Dr. M began the c-section she knelt down at the end of the table with us-- where Scott was holding my hand-- and asked if we would like to say a prayer. So, we all grabbed hands and Scott led us in such a moving prayer-- it was too wonderful for words, and it seemed like such the fitting ending-- and beginning!-- to Caroline's whole journey into this world. Thank You, Lord!

She is doing SO great! I just look at her and can't believe how blessed we are. I have said it over and over-- but God HAS indeed been so faithful to us.

We are bringing Luke to meet her for the first time this morning. I can't wait to see what his reaction will be. I know that ultimately he will be a terrific big brother, but I'm sure he'll need a little time to adjust to another little one in the house-- just like we all will! :)

It is so hard to believe that we made it! She is here! She is healthy! She is beautiful!

Yeah, God! :)

Welcome, Caroline!

2006 B.C.-- "Before Caroline!"

As this weekend nears its end, I am trying to comprehend that this is our last weekend before Caroline arrives! All week I have felt like I should be doing something "historical" or monumental to mark the end of an era and the start of a new one.... It was a good, peaceful weekend, and Scott and I spent a ton of time just reveling in Luke and how amazing he is. He is so smart and seems so old to us now-- and I'm sure even older once we see him next to Caroline!

I have pretty much accomplished everything I had on my to-do list before we go to the hospital. I spent time today working on her baby book and the journal I am keeping for her. I looked back through Luke's stuff, too. It is so amazing how far we have come from being brand new parents without a clue! I am really looking forward to somewhat knowing what we are doing this time around. At least the "fear" factor of feeling out of control and not knowing what lies ahead will be lessened-- I hope! I'll never forget feeling so depressed that my life was over, that things would never again be normal, and that I wasn't sure I was doing anything right! Yes, I am sure some of that was the leftovers of a traumatic delivery, two blood transfusions, anemia, lack of sleep, and hormones-- but it was also just an entirely new experience that I wasn't really sure how to cope with at the time. Now I know what "motherhood" is about-- I know my life will never return to "normal", but that's just fine-- it becomes even better than you can imagine.

So, we head into the hospital at 5:30 am on Tuesday, February 28th. Caroline Mae Westerman will make her debut sometime soon after 7:30 am. Please keep us in your prayers! We are very anxious to meet her-- finally! This pregnancy has seemed much longer than Luke's-- probably due to all the anxiety, stress, and two months of bedrest. I don't think I will fully realize what a miracle she is until I see her, hold her, hear her.... It is just SO hard to even take in. Also, please pray that we don't have any complications this time around. I'm not afraid, but I just pray that I don't end up having the same blood loss after this surgery. Thanks to all of you who have continued to cover us with prayer through this entire pregnancy. It means more than you know!

You know me-- I will post photos of Caroline as soon as humanly possible! I can't wait to have her first pictures uploaded into my computer!!

We live for monumental moments like this, don't we? Graduations, engagements, weddings, births... Moments in time that will forever shape and change our worlds as we know them. It is such an incredible process, isn't it? I know the Lord and His angels rejoice with us in these times.

Happy Valentine's!

Scott and I had a wonderful Valentine's Day! We went to Fleming's-- an incredible steak house here-- with two other couples. Fleming's is our favorite spot, but it is SO expensive that we are lucky to go two or three times a year. We usually go on our anniversary or to celebrate (being pregnant!) or for Valentine's Day. It was a great night and so fun to sit around and catch up with old friends. We have all known each other since college-- during our wild and crazy dating days! Now we are all married with kids! It is so amazing to see how far we've all come. Praise the Lord that we all are still in great marriages!

While we were eating dessert, country music singer Leeann Rimes came in with her husband Dean and their entourage and sat down right behind us. Nashville is such a cool town in that respect.... I think stars are generally treated "normally" here without all the paparazzi and fuss. That's probably why Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman hang out here so much rather than in LA.

Anyway-- when we were getting up to leave, I noticed that Leeann looked at me, turned to her husband and then started whispering. I can only imagine what she was saying, but probably something along the lines of "She is HUGE!" Or, maybe she was saying she'd like to start a family of her own... Who knows?!? But, I thought it was funny that she would end up whispering about me and not vice versa!

On this Valentine's Day, I can't believe how blessed we are! We have a great son and a daughter on the way. I still love Scott madly, and after 13 years, he is still my best friend. I am so happy to be going through life with him and sharing all these wonderful times together.

Thanks, Lord!

We shipped Luke off to my parent's yesterday. Scott had to be gone to Denver overnight, and I just didn't think I could handle 48 hours of non-stop Luke... at least not with just over a week to go before Caroline arrives! I was also getting sinus-y-- which makes me tired and draggy. We knew he'd have fun with Pa Bob and Ma Betz and that they enjoy keeping him. It has given me a chance to get some last minute things done on my to-do list as well. They'll bring him back Saturday.

We are getting very excited about Caroline's arrival! It is still so hard to believe that we have made it to this point! As much as we feel "prepared" this time around, I am sure our worlds-- and Luke's-- are going to be rocked! Even so, I am thankful for the chance to relive the beautiful chaos an infant brings.

Thanks, again, Lord!

Saturday Celebrations!

Last Saturday was a big day! To kick things off, the ZOE Girls had a baby blessing for me and Caroline. It was so wonderful to be surrounded by family and friends who have been with us every step of the way through this entire ordeal with our pregnancy. Every person in the room had been involved in some way to help us through-- whether it was by bringing food, coming to entertain me, taking Luke when we needed someone to watch him, or just simply praying. There were many tears, Scriptures, and times of sharing. It was the perfect way to celebrate her upcoming arrival, and it gave me a real sense of peace and closure.... I am ready for her to arrive now!

Immediately after the shower, all of our family gathered to celebrate Luke's 2nd birthday. We opted for the family only route this year. It was great fun! Luke is just so cute! He had a big time blowing out his candles and opening all his gifts. He is blessed to have such a loving extended family all in Nashville-- except for my parents who are only 2 hours away.

So, it was a busy, fun day. Life is so great. What a blessing to share in days like this with people you love. Now we are just in count-down mode, waiting for February 28th-- the day our family will grow again! Hard to imagine, but we are looking forward to it more and more each day! Bring on the chaos! :)

These are photos of Scott and me on our 2nd birthdays! Looks like we had the same cake, icing, and candles-- except mine was square!

You Say It's Your Birthday...!

Yes-- I confess! Today is my birthday! I am officially old-- or at least older!

It's funny that the older you get, the less "exciting" the day actually becomes. Dear, sweet family and friends made the day very special, though. I had a fun birthday lunch with my ZOE girls-- love those guys! Thanks, y'all! :) Scott also came through with chocolate-- always the perfect gift, and also a certificate to get my nails and feet done before Caroline comes!! :)

Last year I was so consumed with Luke's first birthday that I don't even remember thinking about my birthday. It just struck me this year that Luke's birthday is one week after mine-- I had never thought about it before. This year I am feeling much more relaxed about the whole event. We are keeping it low-key-- just family. Luke won't notice, and it just seems like the right call this time. We'll invite the friends to attend next year. Still can't believe he will be TWO!!

We are really getting excited about having a little girl although it seems so surreal still. That will all change soon! :)

Life is good! We are VERY blessed!

Precious Blessings

Technically, we have less time left than that since we are having a c-section on February 28th-- that makes it 34 days to go!!!!

Well, it's hard to believe that in about a month we will have a precious little addition to our family! I have been working on editing and creating Luke's DVD this week by reviewing all the tapes we have made of him during the past year. It is so amazing to watch the footage of him just one year ago-- learning how to walk, to explore, and to play. He seems so small! I am sure this time next year we will be watching tapes of him at this age and be thinking the same thing!

I still can't get my mind around what having an infant in the house again will be like. We are at such a great place with Luke now that it seems crazy to "mess it up" and have to start all over with another! :) He has done so well adjusting to his big boy bed. He has been sleeping through the night for about 2 weeks, so we think he has transitioned at this point. Today, for the first time ever, he even told me that he was ready to take a nap! It was so funny!

Even though we have already been down this road before, I still can't fathom holding Caroline in my arms and seeing her for the first time-- especially after thinking she might never make it at one point. It has been a long road, and I still don't think I realize what a miracle she is. I am really looking forward to enjoying this delivery and my first few days with her.... I just didn't have that with Luke because of all the complications. It took me about a month to feel back to normal with him-- I am praying I won't have to endure any of that this time around. Plus, I think (and pray) that we will be much more relaxed in dealing with a new baby the second time around. We'll know what to expect and surely won't have all the anxiety and fear we had with Luke during those first weeks.

I wonder what she will look like-- what color hair, eyes? Will she have the same look Luke did when he was born or will she have a look all her own? I just can't wait! Bring on the sleepless nights and the utter chaos of chasing a two year-old around while trying to tend to a baby! We have been so blessed-- how can I ask for more-- even if it is a serious challenge?!? I just pray that in everything-- the good and the bad moments that lie ahead-- I will stop to give thanks for my two precious blessings-- three, including Scott! :)

Pretty in Pink

Thought I would post some photos of Caroline's-- formerly Luke's-- nursery. When I first painted/decorated the nursery for him, I decided that I would keep it unisex, so that just by changing a few accents I could easily update for either a girl or boy. S0-- out goes the blue gingham-- in comes the pink! I purchased new bedding that added the pink and brought out the butterflies already present in the border. With a few more pink touches and new name letters above the crib-- it's pretty much finished! You can click on the photos to enlarge them.

My Dad made this crib back in 1997 for the first grandchild-- my sister's daughter, Camille. It has walnut inserts in it from trees from Andrew Jackson's Hermitage that were blown down during a tornado. It is truly gorgeous, and will be a family heirloom for all the grandkids-- and great grandkids-- to use throughout the years.

A closet full of pink! I went out and bought everything pink once we found out it was a girl!

Caroline's name is twice as long as Luke's was so it takes up the entire wall!

"I'll help with the diapers!" --- Luke will be a great big brother!

The only thing we purchased furniture-wise for the nursery was this changing table. My dad made the fence bookshelf for me. I took him to a local store in town who was selling this piece for almost $600. My Dad made it for me and it was the perfect accent for the room. So nice to have such a talented father! :)

This chest was actually in Scott's nursery many moons ago-- we just painted it to match the room.

I had so much fun painting these bugs on the wall-- I used the ones in the border as my guide.