Scott, Luke, and Me-- New Arrivals Day, April 2005.
Monday, April 25, 2005
You were, You are, and You will always be
Aside from coming down with a cold on Saturday, this week was much calmer for us! I didn't feel like I had a million things to do, places to go, and people to see... It was nice! We didn't even have one thing on our agenda for the weekend! I really love when that happens!
Well, the 9th ZOE conference CD is finished as of last Saturday! Yippee! Our last day in the studio proved to be our most daunting though-- of course! We had saved "You Were There"-- a powerful song that Avalon recorded (The Creed, www.avalonlive.com)-- to finish up with... It was a pretty diffucult arrangement, and that one song took us 5 hours to complete! I'm not sure that is a ZOE record, but it has to be close. It was really hard! We must have sung it through a hundred times! I think it is going to be awesome though once the solos are laid down and it is mixed. The words to the song are just so meaningful and strong and true:
I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight
'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb
'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were
Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there
During darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be the Risen Lamb of God
You were, You are and You will always be the Risen Lamb of God
It is crazy when we go into the studio and cut 13 songs over a month and half that you actually forget what you recorded! I sat down at the piano this weekend and pulled out the music from my notebook. As I began to play through the songs, I realized that there are some GOOD songs on this one. I pray that they will touch many lives. They have already touched mine....
ZOE is off to Pepperdine next week! One of our most fun trips of the year! This year will be a tad different... Sheryl-- our AMAZING soprano (Brandon's wife)-- isn't coming since little Sam is so close to making his debut. Jason-- our AMAZING tenor and comic relief-- isn't coming since he is getting married in July and needs the vacation time for his honeymoon. And, the group isn't staying for the Friday class (Mike Cope) this year. So-- it will be a little different, but still an awesome week I'm sure. We have two incredible subs that sound GREAT! We are so fortunate to have so many great singers to pull from in Nashville. These two are like family to us anyway, and they will fit right in. I am really looking forward to it! Can't wait to see Luke at the beach this year! Hard to believe he turned 3 MONTHS-OLD at Pepperdine last year! He is SO big now! I think he will be so fun, if he survives the plane ride out!
I'm posting our family photo from New Arrivals Day a few weeks back. It turned out well!
God, help us to constantly remember that You are there-- even when we don't feel Your presence. In spite of our unreliable emotions and "feelings"-- You were, You are, and You will ALWAYS be our Lamb who came to save us! THANK YOU, Father!
Well, the 9th ZOE conference CD is finished as of last Saturday! Yippee! Our last day in the studio proved to be our most daunting though-- of course! We had saved "You Were There"-- a powerful song that Avalon recorded (The Creed, www.avalonlive.com)-- to finish up with... It was a pretty diffucult arrangement, and that one song took us 5 hours to complete! I'm not sure that is a ZOE record, but it has to be close. It was really hard! We must have sung it through a hundred times! I think it is going to be awesome though once the solos are laid down and it is mixed. The words to the song are just so meaningful and strong and true:
I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight
'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb
'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were
Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there
During darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be the Risen Lamb of God
You were, You are and You will always be the Risen Lamb of God
It is crazy when we go into the studio and cut 13 songs over a month and half that you actually forget what you recorded! I sat down at the piano this weekend and pulled out the music from my notebook. As I began to play through the songs, I realized that there are some GOOD songs on this one. I pray that they will touch many lives. They have already touched mine....
ZOE is off to Pepperdine next week! One of our most fun trips of the year! This year will be a tad different... Sheryl-- our AMAZING soprano (Brandon's wife)-- isn't coming since little Sam is so close to making his debut. Jason-- our AMAZING tenor and comic relief-- isn't coming since he is getting married in July and needs the vacation time for his honeymoon. And, the group isn't staying for the Friday class (Mike Cope) this year. So-- it will be a little different, but still an awesome week I'm sure. We have two incredible subs that sound GREAT! We are so fortunate to have so many great singers to pull from in Nashville. These two are like family to us anyway, and they will fit right in. I am really looking forward to it! Can't wait to see Luke at the beach this year! Hard to believe he turned 3 MONTHS-OLD at Pepperdine last year! He is SO big now! I think he will be so fun, if he survives the plane ride out!
I'm posting our family photo from New Arrivals Day a few weeks back. It turned out well!
God, help us to constantly remember that You are there-- even when we don't feel Your presence. In spite of our unreliable emotions and "feelings"-- You were, You are, and You will ALWAYS be our Lamb who came to save us! THANK YOU, Father!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Real Estate vs. REAL
Luke is back to his normal, happy self after several days of grumpiness-- He just wasn't feeling like himself and was battling the same stomach issues that he fought off last month. It wasn't as bad this time-- no vomit, etc. So-- times like that make me REALLY appreciate what a truly good kid he is. If he were a grump all the time, I would be, too!
He is just so much fun. He is getting smarter and smarter each day. Every day he does something that astonishes me and makes me smile. I will point to a car and say "vroom vroom" and he will say "car" and then mimic my "vroom" sound-- and I think-- "How does he know to do that?!" He also has Scott's sly, mischievous side to him. He will do something he knows he's not supposed to and then look up at you with those gorgeous blue eyes and a half-grin... it is so hard for me not to laugh when I am trying to teach him a valuable lesson in self-discipline! :)
Scott has been gone all week to the Ritz in Orlando-- rough life!! I was going to go, but I have ZOE commitments this weekend-- oh well! Poor me! I am actually looking forward to another weekend in the studio. We are only 3 songs away from being done! I have to say-- I really love this CD. I think it has a completely different feel from our last few, but I can't really say how or why... I just like it. I also love hanging with the gang. What an awesome group of people! LOVE THEM! Bring on the Pringles!
The neurotic side of me has been working over time the past few weeks... I confess that I think I have gotten a little stuck in the "Keeping Up with the Joneses" mire. Several of our friends have bought new homes or land to build new homes on... and that started me on a search for the perfect piece of property for us. Well, we actually have an extremely nice home already, and I do feel so blessed and I love it! BUT (isn't there always a "but" somewhere!?)-- one of my downfalls has now become home decor. I love thinking about new layouts, paint colors, fabric, etc. I get excited thinking about the possibility of getting/building a new house just because I think it would be fun! We probably will want to find another place with a bigger yard as Luke grows... but that will probably be at least a couple of more years... Which means my spending hours online at "realtor.com" was not exactly needed-- neither was my cruising of neighborhoods as Luke slept in the carseat! I am so bad about getting focused on a "mission"-- I don't want to do anything else until it is accomplished. I get impatient and want to make it happen right now!
After coming home and telling Scott about a perfect home that I found for us, he looked at the price, and then proceeded to tell me that we weren't ready to move just yet. He reminded me off what a great place we already have and how blessed we are. He's right. House hunting will have to wait-- although I have talked him into looking at two lots for sale this weekend! :)
We really do have more than MANY and I am blessed. I am so thankful to be able to stay with Luke and to have a beautiful home. This morning I think God was speaking to me-- I was watching Joyce Meyer while Luke was eating his breakfast. She was speaking from James and she said that when we run around impatiently, not trusting that God has a plan for us, it shows spiritual immaturity. That is so true-- I am spiritually immature, and I have such a long way to go! I need to just trust that we will be and live where we need to be and live-- regardless of whether I check the new MLS postings each day. I have some work to do on myself! Instead of "real estate", I just need to get REAL about my walk!!
Lord, teach me not to love this world and its trappings so much! You have blessed me over and above what I deserve! Let me live in the happiness You have blessed me with and be content. Content to be Your child and to know Your love. And-- thanks for my adorable son and amazing husband!! AMEN!
He is just so much fun. He is getting smarter and smarter each day. Every day he does something that astonishes me and makes me smile. I will point to a car and say "vroom vroom" and he will say "car" and then mimic my "vroom" sound-- and I think-- "How does he know to do that?!" He also has Scott's sly, mischievous side to him. He will do something he knows he's not supposed to and then look up at you with those gorgeous blue eyes and a half-grin... it is so hard for me not to laugh when I am trying to teach him a valuable lesson in self-discipline! :)
Scott has been gone all week to the Ritz in Orlando-- rough life!! I was going to go, but I have ZOE commitments this weekend-- oh well! Poor me! I am actually looking forward to another weekend in the studio. We are only 3 songs away from being done! I have to say-- I really love this CD. I think it has a completely different feel from our last few, but I can't really say how or why... I just like it. I also love hanging with the gang. What an awesome group of people! LOVE THEM! Bring on the Pringles!
The neurotic side of me has been working over time the past few weeks... I confess that I think I have gotten a little stuck in the "Keeping Up with the Joneses" mire. Several of our friends have bought new homes or land to build new homes on... and that started me on a search for the perfect piece of property for us. Well, we actually have an extremely nice home already, and I do feel so blessed and I love it! BUT (isn't there always a "but" somewhere!?)-- one of my downfalls has now become home decor. I love thinking about new layouts, paint colors, fabric, etc. I get excited thinking about the possibility of getting/building a new house just because I think it would be fun! We probably will want to find another place with a bigger yard as Luke grows... but that will probably be at least a couple of more years... Which means my spending hours online at "realtor.com" was not exactly needed-- neither was my cruising of neighborhoods as Luke slept in the carseat! I am so bad about getting focused on a "mission"-- I don't want to do anything else until it is accomplished. I get impatient and want to make it happen right now!
After coming home and telling Scott about a perfect home that I found for us, he looked at the price, and then proceeded to tell me that we weren't ready to move just yet. He reminded me off what a great place we already have and how blessed we are. He's right. House hunting will have to wait-- although I have talked him into looking at two lots for sale this weekend! :)
We really do have more than MANY and I am blessed. I am so thankful to be able to stay with Luke and to have a beautiful home. This morning I think God was speaking to me-- I was watching Joyce Meyer while Luke was eating his breakfast. She was speaking from James and she said that when we run around impatiently, not trusting that God has a plan for us, it shows spiritual immaturity. That is so true-- I am spiritually immature, and I have such a long way to go! I need to just trust that we will be and live where we need to be and live-- regardless of whether I check the new MLS postings each day. I have some work to do on myself! Instead of "real estate", I just need to get REAL about my walk!!
Lord, teach me not to love this world and its trappings so much! You have blessed me over and above what I deserve! Let me live in the happiness You have blessed me with and be content. Content to be Your child and to know Your love. And-- thanks for my adorable son and amazing husband!! AMEN!
Monday, April 04, 2005
Zoe, Zones, and Kingdom Work
Luke turned 14 months-old yesterday! He is getting SO big! Today I went to get him out of his crib after his nap-- he is always so happy and cuddly when he wakes up--- and the moment just kind of hit me... just what a great kid he is and how much fun I have being with him each day. He really is a joy and such fun to be around. I love seeing how his mind is able to process more complex ideas and concepts-- such as, now he will pick up his shoes and try to put them on his feet; he knows that that is where they belong and where mommy puts them every day. When he picks up a hairbrush, he will start brushing his hair, etc. He is a very good "mimic", too. I love showing him an object, telling him what it is called, and then seeing if he can say it back. Today he had one of my bracelets in his hand, and I think he actually said "bracelet"!!! At least that's what it sounded like he said! :) Anyway-- I am one proud Mommy! He is the best!
Last weekend in the studio was great! We knocked out 4 more songs which means we are 2/3 of the way through with this project. I still think this will be one of my favorites. Everything just seems to be clicking, and we have some very powerful songs-- several originals! I think my favorite right now would be "Mighty is the Power of the Cross". The words are SO great! Anyway-- can't wait to hear the mixed CD-- after Chris and Josh (our wonderful engineers this year) take all our rough stuff and work their magic! I think this will be the best sounding CD we have ever done as far as production quality. I'm excited! We are SO blessed to be able to use the Bennett House this year. Thanks, Ken! I'll post a few shots of us in the studio.
So-- I am doing well on my pursuit of hospitality!! This week I took the names and addresses of 60 couples at Woodmont who are affiliated with our Marriage Builders class and plotted their locations on a map. Then, I divided the groups into 6 geographic zones of 8-10 couples each, assigned "host" couples, and-- I'm proud to say that on April 17th, we will all be having our first "Community Zone Dinner" all over the city! It really is a simple, no-brainer concept that I wish we would have done even sooner. It provides the perfect opportunity for people to meet new folks and to see who their church "neighbors" are. I think it will be a great success. I have also formed a "supper club" of sorts with two neighbor couples of ours. Together, we are going to invite new couples over each weekend for dinner. We are on this weekend for Friday night. We are also going out with several couples on Thursday night to a charity catfish dinner, and on Saturday, we have a wedding shower for two of my former students who are getting married! This Sunday is also new arrivals day at Woodmont. Our whole family will be there to see Luke get his Bible and his blessing and then come back to our place for lunch. Whew! Busy weekend, but fun!
It is a wonderful irony of sorts, that the more you give of yourself-- no matter how busy you are or "think" you are-- the more you get back. It is how God designed it to be. When we trust Him enough to simply be about the Kingdom work of loving others, He always makes sure that things turn out how they should and that our hearts are filled. He is good.
Last weekend in the studio was great! We knocked out 4 more songs which means we are 2/3 of the way through with this project. I still think this will be one of my favorites. Everything just seems to be clicking, and we have some very powerful songs-- several originals! I think my favorite right now would be "Mighty is the Power of the Cross". The words are SO great! Anyway-- can't wait to hear the mixed CD-- after Chris and Josh (our wonderful engineers this year) take all our rough stuff and work their magic! I think this will be the best sounding CD we have ever done as far as production quality. I'm excited! We are SO blessed to be able to use the Bennett House this year. Thanks, Ken! I'll post a few shots of us in the studio.
So-- I am doing well on my pursuit of hospitality!! This week I took the names and addresses of 60 couples at Woodmont who are affiliated with our Marriage Builders class and plotted their locations on a map. Then, I divided the groups into 6 geographic zones of 8-10 couples each, assigned "host" couples, and-- I'm proud to say that on April 17th, we will all be having our first "Community Zone Dinner" all over the city! It really is a simple, no-brainer concept that I wish we would have done even sooner. It provides the perfect opportunity for people to meet new folks and to see who their church "neighbors" are. I think it will be a great success. I have also formed a "supper club" of sorts with two neighbor couples of ours. Together, we are going to invite new couples over each weekend for dinner. We are on this weekend for Friday night. We are also going out with several couples on Thursday night to a charity catfish dinner, and on Saturday, we have a wedding shower for two of my former students who are getting married! This Sunday is also new arrivals day at Woodmont. Our whole family will be there to see Luke get his Bible and his blessing and then come back to our place for lunch. Whew! Busy weekend, but fun!
It is a wonderful irony of sorts, that the more you give of yourself-- no matter how busy you are or "think" you are-- the more you get back. It is how God designed it to be. When we trust Him enough to simply be about the Kingdom work of loving others, He always makes sure that things turn out how they should and that our hearts are filled. He is good.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Sickness, Songs, Pringles, and Passion
It has been awhile since I last blogged-- lots of stuff going on, as usual! First, Luke contracted his very first illness-- not bad since he is 13 1/2 months-old. He caught one of the stomach bugs that has been ravaging through Nashvegas. He spent an entire day vomiting, another day with 104 temp, and until today, hasn't had a bite of food in over three days! This morning he awoke with a little more spunk, although it took him one hour to eat a saltine cracker-- I think he's on the mend. So, all week, I have done little more than sit and hold him. It was actually nice to have nothing else on my schedule but to be with him and to comfort him.
We have also started work on our next conference CD for ZOE. We are recording in a beautiful studio this year-- The Bennett House in Franklin. That is where Ken Young (Hallal) is doing all of his stuff now, and he was instrumental in getting us in there-- THANKS! We are also working with two new engineers-- Josh and Chris, who ROCK! There has been such a nice chemistry amongst us so far-- I am expecting this to be one of my favorite CDs yet. We have six songs down which means we are almost halfway through. I wish people knew what a kick our recording times are!-- Then again, maybe not!
As Brandon stated on his blog, we are an opinionated group! The tenors and altos are infamous for fighting it out for the best notes! This weighs on Brandon's nerves, no doubt, but I am personally so thankful for him and his leadership style. He lets us hash things out, but then puts his foot down when he needs to and lays out his vision for each song. I am so glad that as singers we have input into not only the songs we will sing but even each note of our parts. Not many groups can say that, I'm sure, and that's why I think our ZOE arrangements are fun and different-- they are the result of nine people who have engaged in a creative and artistic battle for what each thinks is best! Not something to be witnessed by anyone but us, probably! We all know we are family and that even after the "discussions" we will never stop loving each other.
We also spend much time and energy snacking! Pringles, grapes, crackers and cheese, and all things chocolate have been the staple snacking foods for us since the beginning. We each contribute different goodies to the pile each night and then we scarf them down between takes and rehearsal time. Let it be said-- ZOE folks love to eat!
The theme of this year's conference is going to be along the lines of the Incarnation-- or how God has broken through into our lives and into our worlds, and how that has and is impacting us.... Very interesting. Can't wait to hear the testimonies from people on that one. I think it will be different than anything we have done before. Even though the conference is months away, it will really be here before we know it. It is one of my favorite weekends of the year, no doubt. If you have never experienced it, you should. I think official registration starts in May, but don't delay, we have been selling out the spots! Go to http://zoegroup.faithsite.com/ and click on the Look to the Hills Conferences link for more information. I would love to meet some of you in the blogging community in person! Please make sure to introduce yourselves!
So much of my time, energy and thoughts have been wrapped up in ZOE so far in 2005. In the past 2 1/2 months (10 weeks) we have traveled to Fresno, Abilene, spent two hours every Wednesday night rehearsing, and 3 days in the studio--- and we aren't even through-- we have three more weekends in studio, and a week in Pepperdine coming up in just 5 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade ZOE for the whole world-- it is one of the biggest blessings in my life... it just seems like it has been way too easy for me to slip into "ZOEland" lately and to lose track of my own intimate journey with the Lord. I really need to work on that...-- what's new?! I am so thankful that He is a God of mercy and compassion!
Other than feeling like I am doing a stinky job of sharing the time that I do have with others, life is going splendidly! :) Scott and I are really in need in of getting away to have some alone time with each other, too. We have been seeing each other coming and going lately! Between our crazy travel schedules we have done little more than pass off Luke and say "hello, good bye"! I guess back when it was the two of us, although we were just as busy, we didn't really miss our "couple" time as much-- when we had time we were able to spend it together, now we spend it with Luke-- which is awesome, but doesn't really allow for us to focus on our relationship very much. We are hopefully going to sneak away for a little ski weekend next week. I really need to get back on the slopes and to relax by a warm, cozy fire! It has been two years since we have been skiing together-- I was pregnant last ski season! I hope we get away!
Last week I sang on the praise team at Woodmont. Although singing through THREE services can be tiring, one benefit is being blessed to hear three sermons-- yes, it is a blessing! :) Last week John York did all three.... He had an incredible lesson on how we try to "name" ourselves instead of letting God name and define us-- read it here-- http://www.johnyork.faithsite.com/content.asp?CID=79345
One of the quotes he ended with really struck me:
We have also started work on our next conference CD for ZOE. We are recording in a beautiful studio this year-- The Bennett House in Franklin. That is where Ken Young (Hallal) is doing all of his stuff now, and he was instrumental in getting us in there-- THANKS! We are also working with two new engineers-- Josh and Chris, who ROCK! There has been such a nice chemistry amongst us so far-- I am expecting this to be one of my favorite CDs yet. We have six songs down which means we are almost halfway through. I wish people knew what a kick our recording times are!-- Then again, maybe not!
As Brandon stated on his blog, we are an opinionated group! The tenors and altos are infamous for fighting it out for the best notes! This weighs on Brandon's nerves, no doubt, but I am personally so thankful for him and his leadership style. He lets us hash things out, but then puts his foot down when he needs to and lays out his vision for each song. I am so glad that as singers we have input into not only the songs we will sing but even each note of our parts. Not many groups can say that, I'm sure, and that's why I think our ZOE arrangements are fun and different-- they are the result of nine people who have engaged in a creative and artistic battle for what each thinks is best! Not something to be witnessed by anyone but us, probably! We all know we are family and that even after the "discussions" we will never stop loving each other.
We also spend much time and energy snacking! Pringles, grapes, crackers and cheese, and all things chocolate have been the staple snacking foods for us since the beginning. We each contribute different goodies to the pile each night and then we scarf them down between takes and rehearsal time. Let it be said-- ZOE folks love to eat!
The theme of this year's conference is going to be along the lines of the Incarnation-- or how God has broken through into our lives and into our worlds, and how that has and is impacting us.... Very interesting. Can't wait to hear the testimonies from people on that one. I think it will be different than anything we have done before. Even though the conference is months away, it will really be here before we know it. It is one of my favorite weekends of the year, no doubt. If you have never experienced it, you should. I think official registration starts in May, but don't delay, we have been selling out the spots! Go to http://zoegroup.faithsite.com/ and click on the Look to the Hills Conferences link for more information. I would love to meet some of you in the blogging community in person! Please make sure to introduce yourselves!
So much of my time, energy and thoughts have been wrapped up in ZOE so far in 2005. In the past 2 1/2 months (10 weeks) we have traveled to Fresno, Abilene, spent two hours every Wednesday night rehearsing, and 3 days in the studio--- and we aren't even through-- we have three more weekends in studio, and a week in Pepperdine coming up in just 5 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade ZOE for the whole world-- it is one of the biggest blessings in my life... it just seems like it has been way too easy for me to slip into "ZOEland" lately and to lose track of my own intimate journey with the Lord. I really need to work on that...-- what's new?! I am so thankful that He is a God of mercy and compassion!
Other than feeling like I am doing a stinky job of sharing the time that I do have with others, life is going splendidly! :) Scott and I are really in need in of getting away to have some alone time with each other, too. We have been seeing each other coming and going lately! Between our crazy travel schedules we have done little more than pass off Luke and say "hello, good bye"! I guess back when it was the two of us, although we were just as busy, we didn't really miss our "couple" time as much-- when we had time we were able to spend it together, now we spend it with Luke-- which is awesome, but doesn't really allow for us to focus on our relationship very much. We are hopefully going to sneak away for a little ski weekend next week. I really need to get back on the slopes and to relax by a warm, cozy fire! It has been two years since we have been skiing together-- I was pregnant last ski season! I hope we get away!
Last week I sang on the praise team at Woodmont. Although singing through THREE services can be tiring, one benefit is being blessed to hear three sermons-- yes, it is a blessing! :) Last week John York did all three.... He had an incredible lesson on how we try to "name" ourselves instead of letting God name and define us-- read it here-- http://www.johnyork.faithsite.com/content.asp?CID=79345
One of the quotes he ended with really struck me:
"Our ideal self is revealed in what we value (passion), how we understand the world (belief), and what we do to reach our ideal (behavior). Our passion, belief, and behavior fit together so intimately that I can say this with confidence: What we do is what we really value. What we value enough to do tells others what we really believe. What we really believe shapes what we will become."
Dan Allender,To Be Told: Know Your Story; Shape Your Future,Waterbrook Press 2005
It made me think about what I truly value-- where do I spend my time? How does this show others what I truly believe? These are some hard questions to answer, but strike at the very core of our Christianity and our faith. If where we spend our time and energy shapes the very core of who we become, then it is just SO important that we are spending our time focused on Him and doing His will. I know I don't always do that. Hard to be honest about it.... so much of my life I devote to self and not to others. SO FRUSTRATING!!!!
Well-- at least I realize that I need to improve and that's a pitiful little start of sorts!
Friday, March 04, 2005
Ignorantly in the Middle of It All
Yesterday Luke turned 13 months-old.... It seems so predictable and somewhat contrived to say, yet again, how fast the past 13 months have gone.... but it is so true. 13 months ago I had no concept of motherhood, no real concept of selflessness, of sacrifice.... I have learned so much through the experience of him entering into my life.
What is so hard to fathom is that one day I will be thinking those same thoughts, yet he will be on the verge of graduating high school, or getting married, or having his own child--- and to me it will probably still seem like it was just a blink back to when he was first learning to walk and to speak.
Time itself is such an interesting proposition-- after reading Slaughterhouse 5 (Kurt Vonnegut) in high school, I have always pondered "time"-- the amazing concept that it is perceived as chronological to us: one second followed by another second, by another minute, by another day, week, month, etc... But, really time is a much bigger construct than that-- so big that I am sure we can't even grasp it with our human minds. Some day I will have to ask God to reveal His whole thought process behind coming up with our concept of time. Meanwhile, I am doing my best to appreciate each second of it and to treasure the days I have with my wonderful husband and son.
As my life with Luke is going so well and is so joyful, my heart goes out to the Shaub and Griffith families. These families are spending their days kneeling beside hospital beds, watching their precious sons struggle to regain strength and spirit-- while trying to maintain theirs as well. I think about the Cope family and all that they have been through before and recently with their children.... I can't even imagine having to see Luke in a state like that-- I am not sure that I would have the strength or faith that these families continue to display. It is truly amazing.
Life is so bewilderingly overwhelming and indescribable most of the time! When I was younger I would sit around and philosophize about it-- trying to come up with answers to so many questions... Now I think I just sit around amazed.... no answers-- not even too many questions anymore-- I just observe and analyze my reactions to it-- and the reactions of others. It is just so interesting. Nothing stays the same for long-- Most everything is different than it is actually perceived-- Pain is just a pathway to learning and enlightenment-- Happiness is a choice not an event that we create-- Love is a fragile gift from above that can be terribly neglected, forgotten, or misused, but can also be the very reason for living.
Such are the crazy thoughts rambling around in my head-- I just put Luke in his crib for a nap and had to sit down and write. One day I will read this again and smile at how little I really knew about time, pain, life, and love-- but for now, I am content to sit ignorantly in the middle of it all-- to be amazed, to be thankful, and to be here, in this place, at this time, with these people who surround me, love me, and offer me a "life" to be lived and celebrated.
Thank you, Lord.
What is so hard to fathom is that one day I will be thinking those same thoughts, yet he will be on the verge of graduating high school, or getting married, or having his own child--- and to me it will probably still seem like it was just a blink back to when he was first learning to walk and to speak.
Time itself is such an interesting proposition-- after reading Slaughterhouse 5 (Kurt Vonnegut) in high school, I have always pondered "time"-- the amazing concept that it is perceived as chronological to us: one second followed by another second, by another minute, by another day, week, month, etc... But, really time is a much bigger construct than that-- so big that I am sure we can't even grasp it with our human minds. Some day I will have to ask God to reveal His whole thought process behind coming up with our concept of time. Meanwhile, I am doing my best to appreciate each second of it and to treasure the days I have with my wonderful husband and son.
As my life with Luke is going so well and is so joyful, my heart goes out to the Shaub and Griffith families. These families are spending their days kneeling beside hospital beds, watching their precious sons struggle to regain strength and spirit-- while trying to maintain theirs as well. I think about the Cope family and all that they have been through before and recently with their children.... I can't even imagine having to see Luke in a state like that-- I am not sure that I would have the strength or faith that these families continue to display. It is truly amazing.
Life is so bewilderingly overwhelming and indescribable most of the time! When I was younger I would sit around and philosophize about it-- trying to come up with answers to so many questions... Now I think I just sit around amazed.... no answers-- not even too many questions anymore-- I just observe and analyze my reactions to it-- and the reactions of others. It is just so interesting. Nothing stays the same for long-- Most everything is different than it is actually perceived-- Pain is just a pathway to learning and enlightenment-- Happiness is a choice not an event that we create-- Love is a fragile gift from above that can be terribly neglected, forgotten, or misused, but can also be the very reason for living.
Such are the crazy thoughts rambling around in my head-- I just put Luke in his crib for a nap and had to sit down and write. One day I will read this again and smile at how little I really knew about time, pain, life, and love-- but for now, I am content to sit ignorantly in the middle of it all-- to be amazed, to be thankful, and to be here, in this place, at this time, with these people who surround me, love me, and offer me a "life" to be lived and celebrated.
Thank you, Lord.
Friday, February 25, 2005
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