One week has come and gone since Caroline entered our lives. Yes, it is still early, but so far, she seems to have a sweet, calm nature. The first night home was rough. She was up only a couple of times, but she wouldn't go back to sleep after she ate-- just very fidgety. That next morning waking up with Caroline in the house was so nice. I was eating breakfast with Mom and Scott-- Caroline was napping away in the bassinet Daddy made her.... she truly had been a handful the night before. I was telling them that it hadn't bothered me a bit staying up with her and that I was just so happy that she was actually here and healthy-- then I just started crying! My mom was worried that I was having a bout of "baby blues", but I was crying tears of JOY! It was just so amazing that she made it! What a miracle!!! We are so blessed!
Her next night (Saturday) was MUCH better-- she actually slept in 4-5 hour blocks. The next morning I even felt good enough to go to church. This was our first Sunday in the new sanctuary at church, and I really hated to miss it. Mom stayed home with Caroline and the rest of us headed out. It was so nice to be out and about so soon this time around-- such a different experience than I had after Luke was born.
She is sleeping and eating on a great schedule. Monday night she went down at 11:30 and didn't get up until 6:30!! How nice to have such a big chunk of sleep! During the day she is doing great at having wake time and enduring all of Luke's poking fingers in her face! He isn't really jealous of her as far as we can tell. He likes to touch her bow in her hair and her nose. He is developing a bad habit of pinching her hand really hard. I know he realizes he shouldn't, but he does it anyway. That is probably his way of keeping the upper hand or something over her... who knows... She is not too bothered by him. He does a pretty good job of holding her, too. It is very sweet!
So far it has been an incredibly easy adjustment but I have also had my mom here to help entertain Luke and let me focus on Caroline. I am starting to feel almost normal as far as my physical issues go. The c-section went so well this time. I never even had any pain medication-- which my night nurse said she had NEVER seen before. The only thing I have had to take is Motrin and I don't really feel like I need it anymore at this point. Scott pulled the tape off my incision last night so now I am officially on the mend. What an awkward feeling having your husband look at your scar! He has really been through the worst with me and has seen me at some pretty low points physically-- yet he never has complained once! It is nice being married to your best friend. I could NEVER have made it through all of this without him.
Marriage has been on our minds a good deal since this weekend... Saturday-- our first full day home-- we had decided to sneak off to Baja Burrito for lunch. We ran into a neighbor who is currently going through a horrible divorce. They had been married almost 30 years and suddenly he left-- he had found his "soul mate"-- the woman God surely intended him to be with. So 3 kids and 30 years later, she is abandoned, and her entire future as she had envisioned it is gone. It was SO heartbreaking and infuriating! Scott-- and his entire family-- had to go through the same thing 5 years ago. Major divorces have happened twice in his family, and it makes him sick. The utter devastation it does to EVERYONE is so appalling. It affects everyone despite what the one leaving seems to rationalize to him/herself. The lasting impact of divorce is passed on to every generation of the family forever and ever. Those poor boys-- how are they supposed to establish healthy relationships when they look at the example their dad has set for them?!
Of course-- no one ever thinks that divorce will happen to them. At one time, our neighbor was in the exact spot we are now-- New babies, new life, new hope-- wonderfully exciting happy times! How could she have known that 25 years later her husband would sit across from her and confess that he had never really loved her and that her whole life had been a lie?!?!
The whole thing really disturbs me. I look at the 5 couples in our small group... Odds say at least one of us won't make it. So, how do we all beat the odds?! How do we keep from finding ourselves in the same boat 20 years from now-- if not sooner? How do we keep from becoming blind or naive about the condition of our marriages? How do we maintain the love and respect we have for each other? How do we avoid sharing our hearts with another and drifting apart?
Well-- I certainly do not have all the answers to those questions. But, we have decided that if we ever forget the calling God has given us-- to be faithful to one another, then it is over. If we don't daily sacrifice our wants to what God wants for us, then we completely make ourselves vulnerable to the collapse of our relationship. I am already praying in advance that God will protect and preserve our marriage and those of our friends. I cannot imagine putting Luke and Caroline through a divorce. Lord, may neither Scott nor I put our own selfish wants and desires ahead of our promise to you or the peace of our children. You have not called me to "make myself happy at all costs"-- instead, You have called me to live in Your JOY, regardless of my circumstances.
Right now, I am just SO thankful that Scott and I are happy, in love, and blessed! I want to treasure these times always! Thank You, Lord! :)
What a wonderful experience this whole delivery has been! I know that it is because all of you have been covering us with prayer. Caroline came into the world screaming, and it was music to our ears! Scott and I were so calm and relaxed the entire morning. We were really able to enjoy and savor the beautiful moments ahead of us.
